Pool of water calm
pebble slipping down shore
ripples crawl
for a moment
I looked up
a moment too late
ripples fading
pebble gone
Author notes
An interesting reflection. Not as imagery driven as much of my other work, but definitely enjoyable to write.
A contest entry
- What ever comes from the heart by oldphotosonlybringt.
360 points, ended January 26, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i loved it great work
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It is indeed an interesting reflection. One that brings a lot of thoughts to the surface. It's so relatable (if that's spelt correctly) on so many themes, and levels.
Me personally, it's like a last goodbye that you could have had, if you'd just taken the time to say it.
E-M
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Nicely done. It is image-rich, even though the images are muted--pool, pebble, ripples. They create the sense of observation but at the same time suggest--as haiku-like poem so often do--an equal if not greater sense of meaning. The literal level works; the imagistic/symbolic levels invite.
Suggestions: "abound" is the only word that doesn't seem to work at full strength. It seems vague, abstract for such a visual poem. Is there another word that might say "lotsa" while at the same tim suggesting shape, depth, form, movement? I've read the poem over several times, and each time stick on that one word. Otherwise, I like it very much. Well done.
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As always, thank you for the poignant commentary. (I believe I used that word correctly)
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I remember seeing that certain shell or stone wanting it so much, but lost it to the under current. That is what this reminds me of. Very nice.
Kelli
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