I would love to say that I have found my home,
But I don't think I have found it yet.
I would love to say I would no longer roam,
But I think I'm too comfortable in my safety net.
There is so much more that I have to do
But I think the timing is not yet right.
It's just a case of being afraid of the new,
And not wanting it enough to put up a fight.
But each day I am getting a little stronger,
Each day I want a little more.
Because every minute is getting longer,
And I am more anxious than before.
But I need to build myself up
And not give in to every demand.
I have to fill my own cup
Without worrying about a reprimand.
I have been treated like a child for too long.
Soon enough I shall set sail.
And I know that I have to be strong,
To silence out the deafening wail.
But I know inside that I can do it,
And I know I am not being too proud.
Because it is too easy just to quit,
It's harder to be silent than to be loud.
A contest entry
- strong feelings by Violent Glass.
425 points, ended March 3, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel again by lilblueeyesmine1978.
300 points, ended March 23, 2008, 62 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
-
Oh My! THIS is SO WONDERFUL
This is my favorite of yours that I have read.
-
"...It's harder to be silent than to be loud."
With hints of hesitancy
in the words, the strong person
inside rises up in determination,
more in command than could be guessed,
realizing the peace of silence.
-
This is a wonderful quatrain and the abab rhyme structure gives it depth in character. I just asked you if all your work is in the same form; LOL, guess not!
Well done!
Love,
Amera
-
an excellent ode to determination
this is such a wonderful piece full of grit and resolve. Great honesty and self assurance here.Good uplifting kind of piece that leaves you feeling better. Thank you for sharing!
-
Very cool. This kind of reminded me of my own philosophies a little. Like I'm not perfect, but I'm tough, and strong and still worthy. I like the determination in this. Love this bit:
But I need to build myself up
And not give in to every demand.
I have to fill my own cup
Without worrying about a reprimand.
All that matters in the end is oneself and the person that you decide to be. Great write!!!!
-
Emotional
But I know inside that I can do it,
And I know I am not being too proud.
Because it is too easy just to quit,
It's harder to be silent than to be loud.
This is another moving piece my friend. Your writing is so strong and emotional. I look forward to reading more of your beautiful work.
-
Nice poem with a lovely flow and rhyme.
The underlying message is really well expressed, and I can relate alot to this poem at the moment, as in half a year I'll be leaving home properly for the first time and I feel it is really time that I got away, experienced something new and broke beyond my saftey net.
In particular I really liked this stanza;
"I have been treated like a child for too long.
Soon enough I shall set sail.
And I know that I have to be strong,
To silence out the deafening wail."
The metaphor of setting sail, as though the wind is silencing out the deafening wails of your old life is really effective. "Deafening wails" is a really powerful phrase, I wonder what exactly you were referring to?
Powerful piece.
-
So very easy to fall silent to then to speak outloud,..
I really like the depth of this write, its both powerful and tender in its content...
Wonderful write
Many blessings
~A~
-
This is so true. I really liked this very much and I commend you for your good work. i will be adding this to the finalists list. Thanks again for this great write.
-
I like these words you have written. Great flow and well rhymned. Some song in there too. There is always feeling of longing and change. I am one for the change, it feeds me.
-
nice poem... i like it it shows alot of emotion and feeling.. Good luck in the contest
De-Throne -
Sounds like a state of metamorphesis, much the same as before a larvae becomes a butterfly. Nice write and a great closing line. Happy trails
-
Great personal heartfelt piece open and honest excellent flow as well great work well done
-
Excellent
Great poem well written. It highlights the emotions and struggles that am sure several can relate with in life. Loved your last line "its harder to be silent than to be loud" I could so adopt that quote.
-
Probably not much new I can say, that someone else didn't already comment on. In my life I've found that breaking out and leaving my comfort zone has been the key to any success I've had. You state that so well here in this poem, and as others have mentioned, it flows very well. Great job!
-
BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!
You just Blew us away with this wonderful write!
Your boldness and courage is a beautiful inspiration!
Absolutely loved the flow of your poem, the innervoice
of your strength. You are a BOLD AND POWERFUL POET
the fearlessness and humility in your poem makes
all our cups run over with praise and delight!
just to remind you, there are "many" not just a few
who truly know what you are going through!
See you on the life road, i'll be the one with the
proud skinned knee's too!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!
-
yes you can do whatever you weant. have faith and the impossible, becomes the possible. may your day be happy.
-
wonderful. the way to go, never be satisfied with where you are, soar as a butterfly, use your wings for new things, new adventure, before life passes you by, and then say, I wish I had done this. this was delightful to read, and I also, believe you an do what you truly want to do. all the best.
Keep flying, you will not need that net.
-
Excelent!
Vanessa, you did this exceptionally well. You nailed the angst of growing beyond yourself and up, with courage and conviction.
But each day I am getting a little stronger,
Each day I want a little more.
Because every minute is getting longer,
And I am more anxious than before.
Growth and maturity...It doesn't get much better than this!Great thoughtful piece. My compliments! Take care. Tom
-
this is the best peice of poetry that i have ever read. it says so much about someone who feels they are being kept from something that they really want. i have felt like this in so many ways.
i want to step out into the world and be my own person. but i'm afriad to take that first step. but my courage is building and i know i can do it. keep writing. -
Great Write!!!
This is so well formed and powerfully written! I love all the emotion and truth you have set in it! You kept an almost flawless rhythm and flow, along with the great word choice! It kept me deep into thought and i did not want to stop reading! VERY NICE!
+- Omni
-
This is definitely one of the better pieces i have read on here since i've joined! your words are powerful and insightful but they flow so well and the whole piece is masterfully articulated. This is awesome and def a fav in my book. I can very much relate here as there have been many times that i have had to leave the saftey of my little corner and do something out of my comfort zone. but it is so worth the effort. Thanks for writing and sharing this, it is one that many can enjoy and even learn from!
steve
-
the last line...It's harder to be silent than to be loud...is a really clever quote!!
no onw likes being treated as a child, so stand your ground and show them all!!
Silverbutterfly
-
love it, i can REALLY relate to this
=)
woop woop woop
-
Oh wow I thought of a last line, too
Silence breaks to let my true self be allowed.
It was like I was reading my own thoughts felt by someone else. You are a powerful writer ready taking flight into your own flight path of your own choosing.
-
I like it! It's really upfront, and I know EXACTLY what you mean.
-
REAL!
That is so true and wonderful. I love this poem. It shows the personal strugles that we all deal with, and how everyone deals with it differently.
Wonderful poem.
-
truthful
a truthful and insightful write . . liked "It's just a case of being afraid of the new" and "It's harder to be silent than to be loud" . . great picture and nice job !
-
"It's harder to be silent than to be loud."
lol. I love this line...
I appreciate your poem as well as the usage of rhymes,... Nice and continue w ri ting....
*Ruthy* -
Living in your comfort zone will rob you of some of your greatest moments. Great write
-
Very good...
...rhyme and rhythm.
Worth passing on a little clap.
Robin.
-
Wow!! I really loved the sort of...uncertain emotion in this piece. The picture is great The rhyme scheme was very good as well. Keep writing!
-
WOW!!! I am so impressed with the strength in this piece. I know personally the feeling you conveyed in this piece. Great work My favorite part is the first and last stanzas.
-
This is simply great!!! Surely something I can relate to and I absolutely loved the image you have chosen with this poem. I must admit that I feel very much the emotion in this poem, almost enough to feel that you took the words right out of my mouth. hehehe
Hope that you will find your comfort soon.
Keep up the good work!
Becks
-
I know that you can be strong! You can fight to find that life... that home! Ohh I know how very hard that is... to stay stuck is sometimes easier. But we just have to think of how great things could be... if only we had the courage to reach out for them.
Great write... I have been feeling like this and it helped me to get back some of my fighting spirit also!
x
-
A poem where I found solace. It is true of me also dear Vanessa. For too long I am afraid of the new, refuse to venture out, growing in my own well. You do tap my conscience as always..thank you
Adding your comment:
1 - 36 of 36
