Dear Lover, Hater, Believer, Skeptic, You.
Come join me on my island,
that is and isn't there,
that exists inbetween
the times of light and
the times of dark.
Join me in this
low slung forever flat plain,
an upper ocean valley
with every way in
and no way out.
Walk with me on this
puddle covered dessert
this barren shell graveyard
bounty beneath our feet.
Life enough to feed life.
You can sell such riches
for much reward but you sell
the sometimes on which you stand.
The children will be left with
the non times of high tide all day.
You can be a god of crabs
if you do not mind
the other will wonder
why you bother with lives
so small.
You can work miracles,
walk on water,
existing at the edge of existence
while those on shore watch
untouching you, your words, in awe.
You can be a giant,
walk above their forests of grass
which holds together
our sometimes island
in the waves.
You can shape a monument,
to tall and it will flee
at least ozymanidus had his feet,
too small, it will last
but the artist will be called sea.
You can sit and watch
the miracle mirages of the horizen
form a way out of our valley
wish for them to come closer
but never go off in search
better off waiting for them
to come to you
than the disappointment
of finding water swallow
your sunshine path to always time.
And what ever you decide
you must remember caution
sometimes we exist in light
sometimes we exist in dark
but most of the time we do not exist.
Such is the nature of sometimes islands.
Author notes
So I've been walking around an island that disappears at high tide, low tide was at dawn and dusk, thus it only existed inbetween light and dark (which makes for crap working hours), it has been very warm and shiny and there was too much sun, rain and wind.
I am focusing on improving spelling, making it flow, be shorter, and have some kind of structure, so everything.
Also can someone find me a theme or meaning that is the same all the way through instead of my eratic jumping.
Rawr Monkey
A contest entry
- ♥ Anything goes! ♥ by vampireblood.
430 points, ended March 3, 2008, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - want me to indulge you? okay, I will. by broken-colours.
1750 points, ended January 5, 144 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Improve everything please.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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"Your sunshine path to always time"
I'm not sure why I love that line but it's amazing and awesome. Also, the entire tone of your poem just made it really personal and felt as though you were speaking to me with complete conviction, which made me believe you. -
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Thank you.
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this is awesome. what an interesting island. can i come ? i think i'd like it there as long as i don't get attacked by jelly fish!
just to point something out- i think miricles is spelled mirAcles .
other wise total amazingness. i wish i could come up with things as creative as this. I truly am jealous of your poetic skills.
your island seems very real yet very far away from reality. kind of contradictory. but i tottaly loved it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now i will go and read more of your poetry hoping it will make me feel like this one did.
♥Nakatréa
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Thanks for the spelling! I suck at spelling. I like blending reality with unreality, it is my favourite game.
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I think this poem is absolutely amazing Kate, I loved the images i was getting in my head!
It seems like a brilliant Island to go to, where you cannot leave, because you dont want to!
Your last couple of stanzas made me think of God:
You can work miricles,
walk on water,
existing at the edge of existance
while those on shore watch
untouching you, your words, in awe.
as tho' we as readers can be God on this island of yours
very imaginative, brilliant
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That was exactly what I was going for, oh you make feel so actually able to communicate and stuff. Yay Lisa Love.
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Good
Pretty good for someone from New Zealand
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Pretty good comment from a United statian.
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I really liked this. It flowed very nicely throughout the piece. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~Vampy~ -
wow
its kinda like one of those fantasy poems u read but urs has truth. u've actually been on this island that disappears inbetween light and dark. other parts make ur imagination run. i loved it. keep on writing.
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Wow, exactly what I was going for, you're brill emo-freak!
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