This disheartened hand would brush the apples of your cheeks if the digits weren't made of razors rusted over with dubiety. No, love - Not of your fervent eyes or passionate amity But rather of the deep sea harboured within them, whose waves are stirred and tides altered by peculiar power
And the feel of the cloth you wear to conceal the inertia of what’s really a raging sea, is clean - if not a bit course Shed it, for the storm has been seen, but the source, beyond secret and serene
Is it to protect hearts?
For they're faithful and willing to break into diamond like shards. Let worry drown - every precious piece can adorn our fingers and to be strewn in our sky, like stars
to cradle the moon and make the universe ours. but this disheartened hand needs heart to weave the wind across your face and to lull you to sleep by the sound of waves that are calm and a sea that's no longer deep.
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Author notes
"You're the only fish in my sea." : )
P.S.
Background credit goes to my cousin: Jason Wyatt, AKA Photoshop God.
A contest entry
- Pimp up my love poetry by leander.
700 points, ended February 22, 2008, 31 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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my goodness
Oh you beautiful bit of love - I read this and my skin fills with chills and I am overcome. You are an amazement.
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WOW
I LOVE IT
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This is a magnificient piece of poetry penned.The imagery is incredible and your words flow well.Splendidly written in vivid colour and taste.
Be blessed in all you ever do.
Tony
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You have managed to capture some very beautiful, tender and sweet feelings within the lines of this poem, and I like that
You've used some great imagery as well actually
thank you for entering this contest - I wish you the very best!
Leander -
Awww that's so sweet, "you're the only fish in my sea".
i have no fish. i guess I must find better bait to lure te big one. -
utterly amazing as always. as with many great poems, for me fealing comes with the first read, and meaning with the second. beautiful work
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I got a great impression from the piece;left me stunned...
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I can't choose a favourite bit so don't make me!!! *she screams to the suggestion prompt nestled underneath the comment box*
I'm in awe of your talent misses!!! I wish I could write with as much beauty and with as many wonderous images as you do. They seem to naturally fall from your pen! Wow! It's all I can say about this!
HUGS, Dari xxx
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That comment, coming from someone as talented as you, Mrs, is taken with great appreciation.
Thank you.
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You are welcome! I can't much do free form, so I think we are about even...don't ya think?
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This is beautiful
the imagery is amazing!
I absolutely love the background too!
I totally get this poem =)
It's definitly one of my favorites.
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This is awesome. Very descriptive and has great imagery. I enjoyed reading this glad someone spotlighted it so I could.
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Very lovely.
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speechless
It felt like you were talking directly to me. -
wowww....fantastic job on this. so descriptive and emotional.
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Oh my!
very deep.....beautiful.The ending really wrapped it up well.Amazing work!
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Visionary
Every once in a while a poem just transports me, takes me on a ride, leading me to a place of exotic beauty. Beautiful word-crafting in this one. Thank you.
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Holy mackeral! Great write.
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No matter where you go, and what you do, everyone will always love you for it.
You're blessed. Never forget that.
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oOoOoOo
Renikins, my llamafaced, telephone poled bestest friend, that poem was BEAUTIFUL! No wonder why KC almost cried (awwww, btw).
As always, you take my breath away with those "holy crap, that's like angel's voices singing in a meadow of loveliness" words. (I know you understood that... nobody else, but, of course, I can count on you to understand our languages. Squeakith). ^.^
Yup, basically...
You = holycrapyouarefreakingamazingandanevenmoreamazeringwriter!!!
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♥
LOVE YOU! hehe
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oh, Kinpochow's mummy, how I love thee! <3333
I'm glad you liked! MUAH! -
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I didn't like it, dear child. I LOVED it!
Btw. give props to your cousin. THe background is sooooooo pretty. I'm jealous. haha. -
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I'm jealous too. I have no effing clue how to enlarge photos on photoshop let alone make backgrounds.
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this is so greattttttttt i havent read anything like this so heartfelt :S u made me cry with this one u made me see the calm sea ahd love greatttt poem
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I love author's comment
You are a VERY creative writer and words flow through your thoughts onto the page passionately with an originality that is all yours.
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The talent you have is amazing.You have made your words flow so well. I could see the sea and smell the salt air.
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This is truly excellent. It's amazingly written, and drew me into the words like a story, and I was the leading role. Fantastic use of words, they were very well fitting, and the feel about this was very deep. Superb, really!
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Amazing...
This is such a beautiful poem. The way it's written, the words used, the flow and the imagery is just amazing. I loved it and am completely jealous Such a great poem. Never stop writing.
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Why, thank you. : )
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WONDERFUL!
As I mentioned before, I really don't see how you can do this, it's so foreign to the way my own frail and neatly ordered mind works. It's a precious gift and creates envy in bald old grampapi-like people ... like me. The word choices and the metaphorical pictures created are very clear here and the last few lines make me want to curl up by that sea and sleep.
As for the content, for once this guy can see and understand the whole thing. Maybe I'm getting to know more about you - or maybe that you tell me what they mean. Could be the latter I suppose.
Just sat and jotted it down with a felt marker, huh. Yeah, your brain is amazing, as I believe I've noted before. Beautifully done Miss Reens.
Love it, and love you too,
Grampapi Paul
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