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These are My Thoughts.

Why tell people what they wish to hear
when you know what you say is not true?
Why would you hurt those held so dear
because of what strangers think of you?

I know that people hide who they are
for fear of what others dare think.
I understand they think to get far
you have to act one way or you'll sink.

Yet with all these facts which are present
I could never bare to hide anger.
You know it's dumb to be pleasant
not to family but a stranger.

You lie to help your relationship
and then you wonder what has gone wrong.
But why should you abandon the ship?
Don't be stupid; stay true to stay strong.

Here now you've woven your web of lies
to stay out of trouble once again.
My friend why can't you hear the cries?
Why store your emotion in this den?

I'd rather have one friend who is real
then many who leave when life is hot.
But then why listen to my mind reel
these are just one shadow's thoughts.

Author notes

~Whitemaiden

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Iliad Keys
    January 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Certainly thoughts worth listening to! I agree with Frodofan that the rhymes seem weak or forced at times, which can steal the meaning from the words, but overall the meaning gets across. I like the overall feel that the poem has, and the first and last stanzas are the best, which wraps it up well. ~SIK


    • Whitemaiden
      January 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment. Yeah I know I make poor frodofan pull out her hair with my rhymes sometimes . My problem is actually getting ideas from my head to the paper without butchering it in the process.


  • Frodofan silver member
    January 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Not bad. I could definently say this a lot of people...

    A couple rhyme like "you'll sink" seem a little weak. But overall pretty good. Can definently relate to the subject matter.

    Thanks for entering!