I'm paralyzed,
Forced to watch my life
As it unfolds before me
And I hurt the ones I love.
I watch them cry
In the confines of their
Hearts as I constantly mess
Up over and over again.
And they keep
Coming back, hoping that I will
One day change, but I don't and
Once again I let them down.
Hopefully one day
I can make every one of you
Hate me so that it wont hurt
So bad when I leave you.
Cause I give up.
I can't do this any more,
I can't continue to hurt you
Cause it hurts me to do this.
Maybe if I could be perfect
Maybe if I could do things over,
Control myself better,
Or maybe just leave you alone.
I think it's time
For me to say my goodbyes
Your all better off without me.
Just remember that I do love you.
I'm paralyzed
And forced to watch as
Everyone is happy
That I am finally gone...
Author notes
Here lately I've been having very violent mood swings that I can't seem to control. One minute I'm happy-go-lucky and then less than 5 minutes later I'm angry or frustrated... and then less than a minute later I'm in tears. Most of the time these mood swings happen for no reason, atleast none that I can figure out. I know I'm hurting the one's that I love... and I'm beginning to think they would be better off without me here to be a burden...
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Comments
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no one's life is more valuable than your own. i love the poem but not what it says. its beautifully writen. I know what its like to feel worthless, useless in a world that shuns you. but its people like us that are the strong ones and its people like us that survive. stay strong. great poem.
---pain of the angels---
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Wow good writing, raw and powerful. . . but I wonder what you would do with someone who had mood swings like you. . .who has the same problem. Would you get along? . . .cause what you can't control you can't control. . .true loved ones know and understand this. Because they're still there for you when your to busy keepinf track of your mood to notice how THEY feel.
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i think this is a remarkable work, i can relate very deeply to your sentiments, i hope that you find some release in your writings. i'm going to read the rest of your stuff now!
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stunning
this a great work of art!!
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wow
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