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The Runaway...

 

One lonely child walked heaven's path

but was soon confronted, by the dark.
No guiding lights from heaven came

so into the darkness, the child then ran.

 

She was then abducted by evil souls

and quickly learned what the devil told.

Within a year she had spread her wings

and was lost to the land of deadly sins. 

 

She cursed the earth, moon and skies,

wishing heaven would show her the light.

But the darkness came, time after time,

into her room where she was confined.

 

Screaming at the darkness, no one hears

she would cry herself to sleep with fear. 

Then hope to hear no footsteps creep

into her room where she was the meat.

 

The years soon passed, night after night

chained up in her bedroom without a light.

And the monsters would come everyday

taking a little bit more of her soul away. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Author: Timespell

Why this is my Favorite poem: I would have to say the reason that this poem is my favorite. Is because I am father of three children, and can only imagine the heartache and pain, when a child runs away. The pain and torment these parents must go through is only for them to really no.

This is a very sad and dark write about this subject. Unfortunately not everything in life has a happy ending...

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 97 of 97

  • Agrona
    September 9

    Edit | Reply

    (bows low)

    This is terribly sad and extremely dark. Just what I was looking for. Beatific in its sense of demise. The only thing was that if you wished to rhyme it would have been better done throughout the entire poem but that is a small price for the piece laid before me.

    (smiles and claps slowly)

    This to me was well done despite that fact and deserving of a place on the finalists' list.

    Best of luck to you,
    Your Czarina,
    ~Seraph


  • stargazer.
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    Originality: (9/10)
    Emotion: (7/10)
    Poetic devices: (13/20)
    Structure/flow: (6/10)
    Cohesion: (8/10)
    Title relating to poem: (8/10)
    Personal opinion: (6/10)
    Syntax: (7/10)
    Diction: (6/10)

    Total:70

  • This poem is over fifty words, i have to remove it from the contest. How good this poem is is irrelevant, please read a contest before you enter one and save us both some trouble.

  • Great Job thanks for entering.


  • Reanna Eryn
    March 16
    Edit | Reply
    It sent chills down my spine. Beautiful.


  • dustytiger
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    this is the most chilling (theme wise) poems i have read in my life, but it is so beautifully written, and full of sadness and pain, you have some very well deserved trophies on this, it's an amazing piece of poetry


  • Violent Glass
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    i liked this one alot
    i thought that it was really cool
    and so... i dont know but i thought
    it was really good
    thanx for entering!!


  • ASmileForYou
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This was amazing! It's so dark and depressing! You captured the emotions perfectly!


  • XxGoldenxXDawnxX
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow - depressing and dark and it really gets to you. Thank you for this entry and Happy Samhain to you.


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very dark, saddening. You did ver well with this. I'm not surprised you've received so many trophies. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • trekkergirl
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very dark write and the background also is a dark show which adds to it. I found that the poem flows well. It's subject is dark but I agree with you that not all stories have happy endings. Sometimes a dark story is needed to teach... to understand... that life isn't always easy. Good write. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering my contest


  • Handcuffs of Love
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write.I liked this very much. Very strong emotion.Good detail.Great flow.Good description.

  • SilentMoonlight
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes a child running away is good. A girl I know ran away made it through three years until she was 18 got her GED then went onto college. Her dad was sexually abusing her.

    But I understand where your coming from and it was a striking poem. Full of imagery; it rips at heart strings.

    Thanks for entering!


  • VerminVomit
    October 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    um... i dont see how it relates to the wordbank...
    but
    the poem paints a really vivid picture
    i like it


  • BehindTheShadow
    October 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great way to imagine the unimaginable. Great write!


  • swim.x
    October 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing. Absolutely amazing, stunning, mortifying, haunting and beautiful. And I must stop my sentence there because I've run out of words to describe this poem. But yeah, you can use a synonym finder on each of those words and that is exactly what I thought the poem was. Great rhythm, flow and rhyme scheme. It was immaculate and hauntingly beautiful.
    Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
    Chin up,
    Swim.x


  • Neha Sharma silver member
    September 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Good Work

    This is absolutely wonderful. All the stanzas are so captivating. The end is superb. Great work shown here.
    Thanks for entering.
    Good Luck.
    -Neha


  • georgie
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    my daughter ran away from her foster mother. i had told her that nite if she ever tried anythin so stupid again i would kick her arse all the way to brisbane... she killed herself there. a heart wrenching piece and summat i will never get over. i wish Lucy could read this and realise i really did care... in fact my mother flies over from new zealand tomoz coz hospital rang her n told her i was gun die. this piece really hurts but tis a great job,
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx


  • upperworld06
    September 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great job.
    And the monsters would come everyday
    taking a little bit more of her soul away.
    i love this part. great job and good luc


  • Hetha gold member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I see a lot of truth and wisdom in this piece, and I think you delivered it quite well. I can see why this is so well decorated. Well written.


  • LittleDecoy
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i enjoyed this very much.
    the last two lines were my favorite..

    "And the monsters would come everyday
    taking a little bit more of her soul away."

    it almost seems to sum up the entirety of the poem in those two lines in a very disturbing way.
    awesome write. =)
    thanks so much for entering my contest& good luck.


  • SignifyingNothing
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is indeed very dark and sorrowful. The rhyme was good, and the subject matter was dealt with well.

    Thanks for entering!


  • echo-ink
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    OMG AWESOME. too the finals list you go.

    This was just so sad, and sadly, so true.


  • and234
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great metaphors, good rhyme and flow.

    Good luck in the contest


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is really good. Its very well written and its worded so great. Thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
    ..
    Shelly


  • GarneT
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I thought this poem was fantastic. I love it. Good luck x


  • MYsecondchance
    June 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good thank for entering


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm usually not a big fan of rhyming poetry, but you pulled it off very, very well. I was also surprised that your punctuation was great, which is hard to find sometimes, lol. Nice imagery that wasn't too intense, with a strong ending. Thanks for entering, and good luck
    Jeanette*~


  • xxhoopstar21xx
    June 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    o wow!!

    o wow that is good!!! wow!! i love it!


  • TheDemonEve
    May 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Chilling. I've never seen this fear expressed in such an eloquent way. This will continue to haunt me long after I've read it. First-class.

    Best of luck and thanks for entering!


  • TabbyCat
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very dark...left me feeling strangely sorrowful. Well done with the flow, but the rhyme was a bit predictable in some places. Even so, I felt that the message here was more important than technicalities. You did well. Congrats on all the trophies!


  • Roaddog Wolf
    May 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    This is a very good

    write the only thing I found it lacking was that I wanted to read more it was good and captured the attention and then dropped it so quickly though it is very good


  • Blooming Poet
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can see quite clearly why this poem has earned so many trophies. Thiis poem captured what we alll wish we could write like.

  • VerminVomit
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    darkness...is my only...

    i dont fear darkness, not at all...without it i would go insane (more often....)... i find myself talking to it, like it understands every thing and...yeah...
    the poem reminds me of the common emo kid
    i like the 3rd stanza the most
    overall, amzazing


  • nobodys-girl
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    im afriad of the dark also! but anyway back to the poem, i loved it. i loved the picture you drew with your words. thankyou so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • Cat10
    April 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a very nice write! I enjoyed reading this poem! I see that you won a lot of trophies already, but still, I wish you luck in all of the other contests you've entered!


  • urapns66
    April 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    great write, keep up the good work


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    April 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry, good luck, Josie


  • Chocoholic156
    April 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this poem led me down the winding path of darkness and intio your soul with all of your imagery and feelings that flow throughout this poem. It is very well written. My only comment for improvement would be to change the line: "into her room where she was the meat."
    That just seemed a little off to me. And with the talent I can see in this poem I can see that it will not be much of a problem if you see fit to change it.Good job.


    • Timespell
      April 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks glad you liked my poem, and thanks for your suggestions. But like most things I write, they are top of my head. So I don't think I need to change this in anyway.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Pretty Britty
    April 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    WOW!! Fantastic work!


    • Timespell
      April 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem, so glad you liked it.
      ll the best,

      ~T.S~


  • ReflectiveEyes
    March 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Honorable mention


  • bones7
    March 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hm


  • liduen silver member
    March 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Honarable mention! Good luck


  • howlinginpain
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    bronze


    • Timespell
      March 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Glad you like this one.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Suicide Hotline
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this! So dark and its perfect! grea


  • jbbrandi
    March 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Bronze


    • Timespell
      March 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Glad you like this one.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you have certainly entered this poem in many contests. Nice to be able to use prewrites and let others read them too. Congrats on all the trophies. Good flow, rhyme (and off rhyme) and rhythm.

    • Timespell
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, I think the reason this one has ended up in a lot of contest is because, it covers a lot of emotions in the story line.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • LadyDementia gold member
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats on all the shinys!

    An excellent piece, superbly penned, and very deserving of the trophy's. All the best in the contest with it


    • Timespell
      March 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Glad you like this sad story of mine.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this. The descriptions were very original and the flow was perfect. I'm usually not a big fan of rhyme, but you pulled it off very smoothly. The ending was great and topped off the whole thing.
    Thank you for entering, and good luck
    Jeanette*~


    • Timespell
      March 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • MrsJones
    March 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write! Hear wrenching and very sad, abuse it awful and no one should have to experience it. Thank you so much for sharing!


    • Timespell
      March 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem

      All the best

      ~T.S~


  • Hebz
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    first congratulations for these cool trophies & Really this lovely piece deserve them all

    Thnx for not ignoring my rules,

    Thnx for entering & Best of luck

    GloriousGift
    Heba


    • Timespell
      March 17, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my entry. Thanks for awarding it with the HM.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Ms Raneika
    March 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I thank you for entering your good, dark with a hint of emotion piece much love, Raneika

    • Timespell
      March 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for taking time to read my poem, Rather dark piece, but not everything in life is so straight forward.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • herrlurch
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello, 't's me again. This one is brillant! As has been discussed rather frequently here, it's about a sad story in many ways. You're right all of you, but aside from that I'm very interested in the technical details of the poem, sort of craftsmanship-like, and I love the way Timespell puts his finger on aspects that most of us, me too, tend to fade out in everyday life. You're a genius man! Love all your poems, so it's clappy time again. Greets Herrlurch

    • Timespell
      March 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the great comment on this one! I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • stylization
    March 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    great job

    OH I love this. you deserved all the trophies you recieved. it's a little bit more biblical than i'd like but that's ok. the rhyme works well. good job.

    • Timespell
      March 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... I suppose the reason I started it that way is from a view point of, Good vs evil / Light vs Dark perspective. I have tried to portray someone straying from the light, when they still had the choice. Then ending up with Darkness with no possible chance of escape.

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • BeautifullyBroken42
    March 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful poem and thank you for putting your option in your notes!!! I was afraid of the dark also and loved the light on in my room!! so i know how you felt!


    ~Ruth~

    • Timespell
      March 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading, Yeah I was always afraid of the dark as a kid!! It would always make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up..LOL. I think it was all the scary horror films I liked watching, but they never seemed to finish in my little mind.

      Thanks again.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • know one
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    awsome

    well written love the way it tells a story


    • Timespell
      February 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks again for commenting on my poetry. This is a rather sad tale.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Luminescence
    February 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Screaming at the darkness, no one hears
    she would cry herself to sleep with fear.
    Then hope to hear no footsteps creep
    into her room where she was the meat.

    That is my favourite stanza.

    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
    ~Lumin


    • Timespell
      February 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my poem. Glad you liked this one.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Seher Sayed
    February 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Really different.The poem has been penned up really well to create a great story of a girl's fear.Vivid imagination...Thanks for entering

    Seher


    • Timespell
      February 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for awarding my poem with the silver trophy.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • z etoile
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hmm this is interesting


    • Timespell
      February 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      all the best,

      ~t.s~


  • child of grace
    February 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sad story!
    powerfully written as well.
    thanks for entering this!
    Cheers,
    S


    • Timespell
      February 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... You are very right in what you say about it being a sad story. Dark & Dark!

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • x--nocturnia--x
    February 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wicked wicked poem... -gins and claps-

    • Timespell
      February 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks... Not a nice thing to write about, but I am so convinced this is going on around the world.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

  • Tygyr-Gypsy
    February 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh this is perfect...

    Perfect form, perfect flow. Excellent chronology.
    This has to be a winner. It speaks to the child in
    me very personally.

    -Buster

    PS - Do you have any more serial-killer stuff? I dont
    know if its unwittingly, but your last two "Hitchhiker"
    and "The Monster Within" offered some good insight into
    the minds of the killers. Wonder if there are any more
    "lurking" about?

    • Timespell
      February 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I do have a few more lurking away...hehehe,

      I would suggest you read... My names stanley whats yours, also had a few follow on storys regarding the character. That was my first attempt at dark poetry,story.

      Also my latest one called THE PASTOR.
      Made me feel sick writing this one.


  • N e a r
    February 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dark, deep, and different... The two D's, lol.
    I loved the way you worded this.
    The whole poem was unique.

    Thanks for sharing & entering your write in A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!

    M a r l u x i a

    • Timespell
      February 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks...

      Yes Dark,Deep, would be the key to this write. I can only imagine what this would be, and feel like with my words.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • kvwriter silver member
    January 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on Gold! Sad write, but something that is more true than most people realize and that is scary. Evoked emotion and painted mental images in my mind. Well done!--Ke

    • Timespell
      January 23, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for reading...Yes I believe there are a lot of abductions that go on in the world. Also a lot of child selling, which we do hear about occasionally. But it would probably shock everyone if we ever new how wide spread it really was.
      Like I have said in previous comments, this write has many dark meanings wrapped in it. A sad and unfortunately true write.

      Thanks again for reading and commenting on this one. I am glad my poem touched you.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this write of course, it's very powerful, like all your other writes. I do feel a bit like this girl somewhat, or how you described her in the first couple of stanzas. It's interesting you were afraid of the dark and yet can write such dark and gruesome tales.

    • Timespell
      January 22, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thnaks...

      Yes...me and darkness did not get on when I was a young Child.
      It is a strange thing, me writing a lot of dark and gruesome tales.
      I never thought about it until now you mention it...LOL

      Thanks again for reading and commenting.

      All the best,



      ~T.S~

      PS: Happy 18th Birthday for the 25th of Jan.


  • StormGoddess Greeters member
    January 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Plain and simple... I like this. It has an innocence to it yet not. Along with the darkness, I can feel the sadness of that girl. This is very good. Thank you for entering and good luck. Storm

    • Timespell
      January 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for awarding this short story with the Gold Trophy. Must admit you really had me thinking in this contest, which is always good.

      Thanks again for reading and for the award, very much appreciated.

      All the best,



      ~T.S~

  • georgie
    January 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good luck in the contest... a great piece... dont know if ill be here fer it but best of luck all the same. friend of mine tis helping me move out today. he just got the home phone connected but its only a temporary move although he will store my stuff till i get outta jail. ill b taking his sons room so tis not a permanant thing... his son will have to sleep with him till i move. the things we do for a place to stay... runaway,
    hugs,
    georgie,
    xxx

    • Timespell
      January 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Damn...
      So you are telling me, that you are off to "Monkey World" for a while? Has that got anything to do with that Pie?

      Ever-way I wish you well, and hope this chapter in your life, makes a quick turn for the better.

      Take care and stay safe.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • krptdnacnce
    January 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    somehow U did it

    The poor thing got my sympathy in such brief tyme (others have tried for years, hehe)How sad damn you-another twisted joy to read-good luck- hey P.S. so that itappears I know my "stuff"...last stanza second verse last word should be 2 words a light; all right?? I enjoyed-cya next tyme

    • Timespell
      January 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hehehe...

      Thanks...I can only say, this is "dark" in more ways than one. I think everyone would have sympathy for this girl!
      PS: Yep...I never saw that mistake, slip of the fingers again. Thanks for pointing it out to me.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~


  • Dak
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hehe, you and your dark writing I am growing so fond of! Shorter then your usual, but I'm guessing thats for the contest limitations. Regardless of line number, it is still a good poem

    "The years soon passed, night after night

    chained up in her bedroom without alight.

    And the monsters would come everyday

    taking a little bit more of her soul away. "

    Last stanzas my favorite, I love a poem with a strong ending :]

    • Timespell
      January 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks...

      "Well, It was quite a challenge to write about "Dark" in a different way. I think this one shows a few definitions...of just how dark it can really get, once you have strayed from the light.

      Unfortunately it happens far to often in society.
      All we end up doing is just looking at posters of missing persons... Scary but true!

      Thanks for reading and commenting on this one.

      All the best,

      ~T.S~

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