I never knew a man so infatuated with living different,
Always changing and always going for a unique style.
He had a unique hop, we called a "Foxtrot",
He had a unique music choice,
He had a unique sense of humor.
When people would like something, he'd have to hate it,
And when people started hating something, he'd like it.
I never knew a boy so infatuated with wanting to be different.
A contest entry
- Making the Idea Personal by bachelorette.
875 points, ended January 20, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!!!! by PerfectImperfection.
600 points, ended January 19, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be brutaly honest.
Comments
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I don't completely agree with PerfectImperfection. I think you do shine light on the fickleness and cursoriness of infatuation. I do feel that your lines and words are too repetitive, though. For example: line 7 looks like you just reworded line 6. I like this piece as much as I can. A lot of the lines could be varried as far as wording. Perhaps the examples could be more specific or expanded. I do think this is a good start.
-K -
I will not be brutal, for I feel it offers little to inspire... This piece seems hindered; as in the subject is poorly lit - and one can only see a tiny glimpse of what it is you are trying to communicate. Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!
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