How long?

Change is something we can never control, it happens when you least expect it and when you least want it to happen.
You can for one moment in your life be so blissfully happy and content,
and then,
Wham!
it is all over, it all changes.

The hardest thing to do is stop loving someone or change the way you love them, no matter how much you know you should. Change is a way of life, it happens for a reason, but the reason doesn't stop it hurting any less.

I must move on and try to inforce change in my life, so these are the words I want to say but know I never will.

I love you with every beat of my pathetic heart and it won't change, it won't end. I want to move on, begin my life not in the shadow of dried up roses or valentines cards, text messages of how much I mean to you and long conversations.
I can't ever let you go for real, but I can change the way I love you. More than anything I want you back, but you love her, she is number one in your life now, so I must change my love.

For just one second, I believed with every beat of my heart that nothing would change, I was meant to be that happy and that this is what god intended for me. I was meant to lie in your arms forever and be loved, and waking up next to you was my destiny.
The moment that this ended was the moment my life fell apart, the moment that change took over and turned everything upside down, sickness filled my stomach and blackened my heart, all my concentration was going into not throwing up right there and then.

All I do is love you, you have changed, refuses to love me back, wrote me a letter, sealed the envelope with the last kiss that you would ever give me, realisation filled the very pit of my gut and I knew in the very bottom of my heart that I have to let you go and live through the change, become stronger with the pain.

Change is the only way out, no matter how hard it is to claw myself out. The look in my eyes is hollow, unhappy, unsettled and desperate, no way to live.
It is time to move on, yet still in the back of my mind the words ring out like a megaphone "If I change and love someone else, if I become happy once more, how long before that is taken away from me and change interferes in my life once more?"


Option number 2!