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Losing My Baby.

The bond has been broken
My sweet baby taken from my womb
The promise I made..
To keep her safe always.
Baby taken from mother
Ohh..... What a devastation!!...
What a pain... What a pain........
I dont know if theres any worse pain..

My sweet baby girl..
Its been almost 3 years
Since you were taken from me
And I was very much awaiting your birth
Just a few months more...
I'm so sorry for all the chaos at the time..
But I really tried to hold on..
My stupid body just couldnt handle all the stress
And its not an excuse..
Just anger and failure and rage with myself.

Your precious baby mouth I'll always remember..
Your big bright eyes just like mine
Your soft baby skin, and cute button nose..
What a beautiful baby girl.. My baby girl..
I remember kissing your forehead and whispering to you..
I remember everything about my sweet little girl.

And I remember you doing summersaults on the ultrasound screen
And waving your hand at the camera.
And the joy of your hiccups in my belly! Although I would try to calm you down
and pat my belly..
It makes me laugh when I remember
but it also makes me sad because of the guilt.

You have a little brother now, he looks just like you and hes funny and loud
and has the same sweetness about him as you.

I know one day I will see you again
And I will wrap you up in my arms once more
and kiss all over your sweet face
and tell you how much Mumma has missed you.







In Memory of my precious daughter, Ailani Rose, born at 5 and a half months.
Rest in Peace my darling. xoxoxox
February 25, 2005.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Lonely
    January 24, 2008

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    A lovely dedication to your child.. It must be very hard losing a child.. when there were only a few months left.. you depict the pain so well in this poem.. wonderful write dear friend.. emotional and beautiful.. Keep writing

    Love, ~ Lonely


    • angelfrog
      January 31, 2008
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      Thankyou Lonely, for your heartfelt comment. Your kind words were of comfort to me.
      Take care,
      Jess


  • sunny day
    January 18, 2008

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    Jess, This is absolutely beautiful and you have tears streaming down my cheeks through the words from your heart. Do not blame yourself ever. We don't know why and we may never know. Through my faith I believe that God needed another angel and called her home. I hear your happy memories too and keep those in your heart, treasure them with all you have in you. She is smiling down at you knowing how much you love her and she is one of God's angels now who protects those on earth that need her. Thank you for sharing the gift of your pen with all of us here. Love and God bless you always, in all ways. Joyce

    • angelfrog
      January 31, 2008

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      Thankyou so much for your beautiful heart felt comment. Your words were so kind and comforting. Thanks also for 'listening' my friend. Its a deep pain, guilt, happiness and memories that I carry with me always, but I try to focus more on the joy of my daughter, and not so much the pain of losing her. As you said, she is back home with God now and smiling down.

      Jess x


  • Olivias Violin
    January 17, 2008

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    I have a friend here at AP who has had a similar experience. If you'd like, I will try to put you in touch with each other.


  • a.changed-soul.
    January 17, 2008

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    Awe, how sad...This was very emotional, it was sweet..rather, it was interesting, as well...excellent job!! =] hehe, it was detailed very well!

    Nicole

1 - 6 of 6