Forever will I be trapped with this curse?
Watching from afar, destiny of a spare.
An attraction to something not mine.
Wanting to steal it and hide it away.
Jealous of all the women, walking proud.
Toting and showing off there new shoes.
Lusting for their riches, my eyes green.
The color of envy glows bright emerald.
Am I marked to forever be damned?
To be the poor woman, they pity.
A piece of happiness here and there,
just to window shop, try on a few items maybe.
In the end cast out with the rest of the extras.
Author notes
Something that just came to me, read between the lines.
A contest entry
- Hopes That Die by Acidanthra.
690 points, ended January 19, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I really like this piece, though I do thing you could make it better by not mentioning shoes and replacing it with something else. Make it more general, because then, with the picture, it can be a fun piece, but without the picture it can mean so much more. Just a suggestion. Other than that I really love this piece. Good job!
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Thank You
Thank you for your suggestion, the poem is not about shoes at all, the meaning is totally different already, a few have picked up on it. I am using shoes as a metaphor. Thank you for your wonderful comment.
raingoddess
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I hate shopping of any kind.
You have done great with this piece,
nice message within this write.
Is this about being jealous of what others have, and even being in love. Sorry if I am wrong, but this is what I got from your write.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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Amazing how things just come to us and we can create a whole story with it. That happens to be quite often. This was very good..You really allowed the reader many visuals with your words.
Soulful Woman
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Wow..
This is very, very good... I loved how u painted a picture and Im quite sure everyone has different views on this,
Im always window shopping...
But from what I can tell its just like a situation Im in, I am sooo jelous of my bestfriend (a male) girlfriend not because she has everything, he caters to her, and her every need... -
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Thanks
Thank you, I understand where you are coming from, my best friend is male also, and if I was in his girls place, I would not complain.
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I caught it sweetie, This is not shoes and people need to understand you are a poet not just a stenographer. jealous of those with that lover, man, spouse that seems to escape you. I may be wrong But if people really read it. They would see it. EXCELLENT Metaphor
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Thank you
You are far from wrong, you are right on the money, you read between the lines just as I asked everyone to do. Thank you for the review. You have been taking your notes and you know me better then I realized you did.
raingoddess
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Interesting sis...
loved the theme in this piece, great imagery, I think window shoppers are a part of us all.
Thanks for always sharing a part of you.
ephiphany♥
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Ha Ha materialism. the backbone of america. you have to remember all these women have mortgages up the yin yang and credit card debt to boot. not all is as it seems.MMooney.
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i love this poem but it reminds me of a funny story... i went into a shop once coz i saw a dress i liked... the woman was like... i dont think we have anything for you... i wasnt dressed up and assumed she thought i had no money so i started to go off... n she was like... no look at the name of the shop... it was 'big girls boutique' lol. im only 80lb. keep that ink on flowing,
hugs,
georgie,
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What is it with women and shoes,
and buying up things they can never use,
discarding like tissue the dreams of the past,
always yearning for something that may never last.
I feel the pain in your words but see happy times ahead
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I enjoyed your poem!
I've never read a poem about this topic, and I really
think you did it well, and with a touch of anguish
too! I bet we all read it a couple of times as you
put a very tender voice in it too!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) good job poet, good job!
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Honey this is truly a amazing write, I see a person that ready for the world, but is the world ready for her. All I can say love is shop until you drop....do you hear me?....novy
Now after reading between the lines could the shoes be symbolic of something else? Maybe your heart, love. Just wondering since I read the authors notes..
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wow.. amazing and beautiful
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