There’s a hidden treasure where you need an invite.
It’s a secret garden that just smells so sweet.
I could walk along its paths all day and night.
I lift my hands and feel the air of a tranquil heat.
The tulips begin to bloom showing special seeds.
Strawberries grow along the path that I could eat for hours.
They glisten in the dew that begins to drop in beads.
The little birds sing and while the bees tend to their flowers.
Pillars stand at its southern entrance and seem to go to the sky.
You can see the northern mountains with peaks so divine.
Protected by a surrounding fence and gate that reaches so high.
An impenetrable gate studded with diamonds and jewels that shine.
Author notes
Written: January 17th, 2008 by Ringside
This piece not about a garden at all. It is entirely a Metaphorical piece written for my fiance as a gift on Valentines Day. I'll let you figure out what it means.
In a list
- Metaphoric • next in list
- 3. Trophies-Bronze • next in list
- To Catherine • next in list
- Erotic • next in list
A contest entry
- I Wanna Touch You All Over and Over and Over by Blooming Poet.
310 points, ended February 21, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite For... HM winners Judged by RedwingSpirit.
475 points, ended April 7, 2008, 46 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
-
vickie vale
good poem I like it a lot keep writing you are good with words you remind me of my style of writing I give you five stars for this poem. -
Beautifully written. Stunning imagery. This was truly a blissful piece in its finest.
-
.... the 1st time i read it thro.. I was like aww i love this imagery, then I read it a second time.. and was blowin away by the image being described here... I found this write to be wonderful.. I hope your love enjoy it just as much as i see we alll have!! well done poet!!
-
Amazing!
I loved that! It was pretty self explanatory to me. i didnt need to know it wasnt about a garden. I liked it from the time i read the title and you didnt dissapoint me. im proud. Keep up the good work!
-
Well, a very subtle way of flattering your fiance. I hope she liked it. Very descriptive. Great poem.
-
This is just simply beautiful! There is a lot of great imagery in this piece, such as "They glisten in the dew that begins to drop in beads." Just a magnificent vision here. The metaphorical view is of beauty, and this is definately well deserving of those trophies
Keep writing!
Amber
-
To describe beauty is an art
As you master this art do not forget beauty can never be caged nor has anyone succeeded.
You let it slip through your hands and you have nothing to look back.
Congrats you have this poem to look back.
Well en caged.
-
Imagination!!!!!!! creates an all different world altogether. Beautiful is all I can say......
Love Susan -
The detail is impecable and the poem is beyond awesome. Very cleaver use of words and I definetly found myself wanting to keep reading. I loved it and i loved the flow it was truly written well. Wonderful write I must check out more of your poems in the future. Very refreshing and unique as well. GOOD JOB.
-
I love metaphoric poems. This is beautiful. I'm glad you won some trophys for this piece. I enjoyed reading it.
-
I'll never tell!
But the peaks and the valleys could be fleshly, I'm sure! How clever of you!As usual you are a great read!
Regards,
Jennifer
-
its really good
it takes me back to being a child and running throught my grandmas woods and gardens. you can really imagine everything that is stated and how calm and peaceful it is
-
such a magical poem, everything just seems to glow qith beautiful colors, it was truely exciting. I really enjoyed the way this poem was put together. Your rhythm was perfect and dead on, you caught a beautiful moment in your poetry, hope to read more.
-
Wow, I love the imagery. It's something you can read and just think about the beauty of the place you talking about. Yet it can be imagined in so many different way's. Good job. I like this alot!
-
i really love the mystery this poem has in it, it says so much about how the garden shines, and tells a lot of detils about it too, i like the background you have used also, congrats on your previous trophies and good luck with this great poem in the future, keep up the great writing, -Amy
-
beautiful imagery. i really got lost in this piece!
-
Don't get the metaphor but The write is beautiful the way it is Excellent imagery written here. I felt as if i was in this garden.
Thank you for taking the time to enter this into my contest I wish you the best of luck
-
cool poem good luck
-
a lovely colourful getaway,bringing you much pleasure with every visit
-
Thanks so much for posting in my contest.
Cathy
-
Written and entered in many contests- getting lots of reads. Very metaphorical, good flow, vivid images and love's expressed in sensual ways.
-
I love the imagery in this piece
-
When I saw you labeled this as 'erotica', I hoped you would manage to get enough metaphors and imagery inside your lines to let my mind work, instead of writing everything you do and see in a blunt way.
You succeeded to fulfill my hopes
Thank you for this beautiful entry, with great use of poetic devices!
Leander -
Such a stunning work of art. Thank you so much for posting in my contest. I enjoyed it very much
-
Beautiful
A very picturesque and well wriiten piece!
Congratulations on the Bronze!
-
Hello there and thanks for entering your poem was very good and very well written best of luck to you and thanks again for entering..
-
Beautifully written, I don't know what else to say except that the imagery is very vivid and real in my mind, nicely done.
-
the metaphor in here of the secret garden is so well put it paints an amazing picture in my mind. you used the right words and phrases to craft one beautiful poem.
-
-
Thank you for the comment and the Bronze!
-
-
I got some of the Meta's, nice write, I'm not typically interested in Heavy Metaphor, but this one is fluid and light hearted which makes it a delightful read.
-
I really like the imagery in this piece, I really like the beauty that you showed in this poem that you have written here. Good job on this poem and good luck in my contest.
~Maria -
This is so beautiful, Ringside. I love your descriptions and those little details that make the bigger picture all the more worthwhile.
Nicely penned, fellow poet.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
-
very descriptive. I enjoyed it very much
-
Beautifully written with such talent. This reminded me of the film such titled. Expressive indeed and loved the imagery!
-
This is really neat. It is can be read like a garden or it can also be erotic, sort of a two in one special kind of poem. very creative...
~Jodi -
I think you meant "where" in the first line...
otherwise, a well-written poem full of rich descriptions.
I agree with storm - there are so many roads I could travel down with this poem as my guide... I had mental images of heaven in my mind while reading this.
Thank you for entering!!!
-
Holy moly! There are so many places I can go with this piece. It holds a lot of meanings, each uniquely diverse but all drawn together by some common thread. Interesting write. Thank you for entering and good luck. Storm
Adding your comment:
1 - 37 of 37
