Remember the day that we first met?
I said I was too good for you.
Well, I don't have to say it now--
it's obvious my words were true.
Do you remember how I told you
that my heart was in your hands?
Well, how did it feel to crush me
and grind my confidence to sand?
Remember how you begged me
to forgive you your mistakes?
And every time, I'd swallow my pride
until my mind and heart would break.
Do you recall how your hands were shaking
the Damndable day you gave me that ring?
I can't believe how I thought
your sorrow could justify everything!
Remember how one touch from you
would make my defenses melt?
Now I'm filled with utter loathing
at the helplessness I felt.
You clung to me so desperately,
swore you were worthy of my trust.
It took far too long to realize
your love was forged from faithless lust.
You know that time you called me
the best woman you'd ever known?
How ironic, then, that you chose her,
and I'm sitting here, alone.
You claimed that you would love me
until you drew your final breath.
Funny, how you're still alive.
Now I'm the one who would welcome death.
Now every sunset leaves me wondering
how I can ever face tomorrow.
She bore your child,
I cursed your name.
All I bore for you were sorrows.
Author notes
Tabby Joy
"I feel, I love, therefore I live."
A contest entry
- Captivated Heart by 2lullabyhaven.
475 points, ended January 28, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sewn Together But So Broken Up Inside by Georgia La Mariposa.
900 points, ended January 30, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Broken promisses... by Wolf Mistress.
1200 points, ended February 23, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~ SET the BAR ~ Anything Goes~ Possible of 5750 points handed out! by Florida Sunshine.
950 points, ended February 24, 2008, 182 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BROKEN HEARTED by DAMSELx.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Stupid Cupid by xblakxrosexremainsx.
700 points, ended March 9, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - B/r/e/a/k.my.♥Heart♥ by BrokenDawn.
600 points, ended March 13, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come along AP Poets, Time to Win!! by Hebz.
525 points, ended March 17, 2008, 84 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You deserved much better!!!!! by Great Cthulhu.
1450 points, ended March 16, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You're Such A Let Down by GypsyEyes.
400 points, ended April 17, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pain In Poetry by Jadis Blade.
450 points, ended April 11, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Band-aids Fall off a Patched up Heart by ThatONEweirdChick.
900 points, ended September 8, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I also really liked the stanza "You claimed that you would love me until you drew your final breath/Funny how you're still alive/Now I'm the one who would welcome death. Really a beautifully written poem. Good luck in the contest.
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Oh wow. This works .. so much. I really like this. This one part
"You claimed that you would love me
until you drew your final breath.
Funny, how you're still alive.
Now I'm the one who would welcome death."
reminded me of a song by Alanis Morissette called You Oughta Know where part of it says..
"And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive"
You should listen to that song if you haven't. But anyway, very nicely fits my topic and I love the flow of this poem. Very deep emotion in this obviously.. thanks for the entry!
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I'm a poor lad.
deserves 5 stars. -
..Take another little piece of my heart...
..you know you got it..
..if it makes you feel good....
Great write...reminded me of the Janis tune....lol
Another great one but oh so terribly sad.
Blessings,
Lowell -
Oh my goodness. I know how this feels. This poem can be conveyed into someones true feelings.
Love it!
Keep on Writing the good Write!
~~PanoCatt~~
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My comment is totally beyond words! It flowed so lovely, a seduction! I loved this (it actually reminded me of a HIM song..) Greatness!!!
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That was so amazing. wow Very well done
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wow
this was beyond amazing.....u put into words what most of us never will be able to......the emotions behind this poem are something all of us feel one time in our lives.....and yet you captured it all and made it speak for all of us....thank you.....
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This piece really touched my emotions...a lot.
It's what im going through right now and I have come to realize that most men lie.
This work was so well written and so beautiful that it actually made me feel better about whats going on, thanks a lot for that
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this was a very well written poem with lots of emotion and a great flow! i think that many people can relate to your write. thank you for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! NineTailedFox
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So melancholy.
This is truly a sad write on loss and betrayal. Weird how the faithless seemed the most trustworthy at first. I ache in time with your words, you've done a terrific job here. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme. Makes me want to hug the author, give a little reassurance. Thank you for entering. -
You changed the words in the notes, what for??
Anyway, very good piece, very well expressed with a nice form...
Thnx for entering & Best of luck
GloriousGift
Heba -
Bravo!! This is a really honest piece!
Goodluck!!
~dawn♥ -
Yep...it's funny how many people experienced the same...I sometimes think there is no for ever, no for eternity...
It's only hard when you're on the wrong side of the line...getting all the pain...
I think you did a great job with this poem
(I think you only forgot the little explanation rule I asked for, although the words speak for them...I will wait for it...)
Good luck in my contest and lot's of love in your life
XXJeannette
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Trust is a powerful tool people use to get what they want... You so badly want to believe ~ as you look into the eyes of a love. This is so real ~ some might say cliche' but I really think you touch on this in a unique way ~ You did a terrific job!
There is a person for you ~ I do believe things happen for a reason ~ as they say "As one day closes another door opens" ~ I've been here ~ I find it SO HARD to open my heart to TRUST another ~ but through it all I FORCE myself to give this person a chance.... I DO always have laying in the back of my mind ~ my past pain.... but most importantly ~ I AM NO LONGER willing to SACRAFICE my belief if someone is good enough for me ~ The BAR has been set to a higher lvl ~ and I will NOT lower it ~ You want me ~ Get over the bar ~ and you prove to me you WANT me!
I truly hope you find a way to open your heart ~ and let someone in ~ your poem is passionate and fills my heart with compassion ~ I truly wish you the best of luck ~ Thanks so much for entering my "Set the bar contest" I do appreciate you sharing your work with me! -
Exelent
Very strong poem, with emotions right out in the open. Loved the pace of it, kept you reading and keeps you interested. Overall a brilliant piece of work.
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Me-Again!!!
I know I commented on this poem before, but I just want to confirm how much I like it!!
Click Link--> http://allpoetry.com/poem/3879913 -
Excellent
Your anger as well as your hurt and sadness is clearly evident in this piece---Very well-structured and versed
I went through a very bitter divorce and you never get over the memories--Good or Bad !!
Click the link below and it will take you to my divorce's aftermath entitled "On Holidays"--
The story of the divorce itself is "With Bitter Hearts
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3861611
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wow
so full of emotion and turmoil You put your feelings down so well. nice write -
So sad,.but thanks for entering it
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This is fantastic really powerful thank you for such a great entry
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the anguish here is palpable – I cannot imagine the sorrow which compelled the writing of this poem, if it is mere fiction, you are very skilled – if it is based on personal experience, you have my most profound respect. A very well crafted write, either way.
blessings and best wishes, astralshepherd
~r.
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Thanks
This was actually based on a past relationship. God heals all wounds though.
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SPECTACULAR
Knowing the history behind this poem allows me to say that you wrote this piece flawlessly. I specifically was moved by the final stanza in which you juxtapose the bearing of a child with the bearing of sorrows. Nicely done.
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