Today I gave away our
table -- the one you
stayed up until 2am
assembling, the one
that we never ate
at and covered in papers,
books, a potpourri of our
assorted junk.
I dropped it off behind
Salvation Army, along
with the futon we used to
share. The one with the cheap,
lumpy mattress that we
never did mind. The one
we'd play late-night
boardgames on. The one
we christened with
our love.
Tonight I dropped off our
old things that haven't been "ours"
since last year.
I dropped them at the back door,
like a criminal,
leaving the truck running and then speeding
off into the dark,
pretending that to dispose of a few
things is to cleanse myself
of you.
Author notes
A new write...second one after a 6-month dry-spell. If you have any criticisms (and I hope you do) please make them constructive.
Thanks,
~D.
I need input on the line-breaks more than anything...
Comments
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yea hang in there. I hate it when relationships go sour. mine just did after being together 2 years. There's others out there for you. You poem was very nicely wrote. It shows deep emotion for you ex. You give worth to things in the relationship and that takes confidence. keep writing!
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I think most of us can relate to this piece...so I'll skip all the kudos and job well done's and get down to what I feel most of us really want when we post in the critical section....this is how I read the first stanza...since you mentioned input on line-breaks..
Today I gave away
our table --
the one you
stayed up until 2am assembling,
the one we
never ate at
and covered in papers,
books, a potpourri of our
assorted junk.
Again this is just how I, read this..everyone varies, and in the end the choice is yours, and should flow the way you want it to...over all a decent write tho..was just giving an idea of how to break it up a bit with one stanza..am sure you can go through, and feel out the rest how you see fit. -
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Very useful comment; thanks! =)
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