My love placed a wilted rose
upon my soul's tombstone,
as darkness infiltrated
the catacombs of my heart.
My fingers coiled tightly
around the thorns, and
bled profusely, until
I was barely alive.
Memories, like weeds, wrapped
around my heart's garden,
strangling my dying hopes
until they ceased to breathe.
*
Snow fell, silent, upon my
grieving heart, and I collapsed,
perilously close to death, for
there was no Heaven for me now.
But a good Samaritan visited me
upon my deathbed; He woke me
from my toxic sleep, and plucked
the deadly flower from my grasp.
He pried the needles from my
fingers, and his healing hands
revived my weakened heart, and
slowly nursed it back to health.
*
He braved the fiercest winds,
to save me from my winter storm,
and he kept me warm, within his
arms, a refuge in the night.
His love was my torch, when
all other lights had faded into
cataclysmic oblivion, for
he had given me hope for life.
Now, my garden is alive, and
full of pretty flowers once more,
for my love has killed the weeds,
and my heart breathes freely again.
*
Author notes
Option 4/7, "A Beautiful Lie"
I am Immortal Obscurity.
I truly believe that God spent some extra time on my guardian angel, and that he saved me, even though I damn near gave up. He held me up, and he gave me strength, when I was at my weakest. I am forever in his debt.
For Travis: You gave me hope, even when I had given up on myself. Without you, I might not be alive, and nothing will ever be able to replace what you've given me. Forever and ever, babe... I love you!
In a list
- x. travis. • next in list
- iv. honourable-mentions. • next in list
- iii. bronze. • next in list
- ii. silver. • next in list
A contest entry
- Options Contest by Simply Simple.
1000 points, ended June 7, 2008, 83 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How Much Do You Love Me? by UnManned4Ever.
1000 points, ended April 4, 2008, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite Only Contest [For Nighttime Angel's Favorites Only] by Nighttime angel.
1410 points, ended March 29, 2008, 68 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Look At How Much I've Grown by xxRainbowDawnxx.
850 points, ended January 4, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A good write.
Seemed a little forced, but nontheless it was a good write
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Is it just me, or does the phrase "cataclysmic oblivion" catch your attention and emotion? Awesome line for an even more awesome poem.
I don't know what to say, really...I mean, what can one say to really add to something like this?
Well, I can say that true love is that strengthened bond that holds together the broken pieces of a shattered heart, even through the world's tendency to crush and destroy that which is whole and true in such matters.
Even the metaphor you used, the garden and the rose, was perfect. The rose represents both the beauty and danger of love, housed in the garden of the soul. (At least to me, anyway.
)
This is more than well-deserved of silver, bronze, and honorable mention...or even gold! For the restoration of heart, soul, and mind (and the preservation of these) brings more substance than any old trophy, virtual or not.
Excellent work!
--Flare
o}--{=======>
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Wow, what a save...thanks for sharing in this contest
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I love this poem that you have written, absolutely love it. its amazing how love can change the things that happen in our lives, things that aren't always pleasant. I still believe that God puts certain people in our lives for reasons. those reasons aren't always known to us, perhaps they don't need to be. the important thing is you are here with us. and for your friend that saved you from a terrible fate. I couldn't ever imagine what life would be like without you. you are an important part of my life, and I feel very lucky to have you in not only as my AP sister, but also as my friend.
thank you for entering & good luck
kat
*huggles* -
Absolutely Beautiful!
I absolutely love this piece. To me it’s like a story in a poem. A story of how love blossomed and saved you from the terrible fate that awaited you. I love how you described him taking the thorns from your hands in the second part to heal and put you back together. To me this is the most amazing part about finding your true love! With love anything is possible and you definitely portrayed that in this piece!
Though in the second section, please don’t take this the wrong way I do love this poem. But I think this line. “for my love has killed the weeds,” would sound a bit better if you said “For (his love) has killed the weeds,” Other then “my love” though again this is just a suggestion to think about!
I honestly think this is one of the best ones I have run acrossed for this contest that fits the most perfectly!
Best of luck in this contest!
Amazing job!
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This is sooo wonderful! I am sorry for your loss and also congrats for your gain as well. I love this piece because it is soo beautifully written and it captured my imagination as well. Good luck in the contest
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beautifully done. i felt the pain, then the resurrection.
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I really loved this poem. it was amazing and fit its options. Thank you for entering and following the rules. ^.^
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This write is pretty good, especially with its filling of emotions packed within it... I love your descriptions and how they enhance the full effect of the write. I thoroughly enjoyed this read, very much so.
~
Thanks for entering my Valentine's Day contest, and good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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Lovely imagery! A breathtaking poem. Very well written.
Keep Quilling,
Whiskey -
Very beautiful
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Oo
This was so wonderful. I loved the contrast between the darkness of the first part, and the hope and love in the second part of the poem. The use of the flower and garden metaphors worked so well all the way though the poem. It's really beautiful.
Thanks for entering my contest.
x -
Beautifully penned, so passionate. It made me feel very sad at the same time, but love prevails from this write.
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Lovely and heartfelt
It's lovely, heartfelt and well written. I especially enjoyed the reference to Travis removing the needles, and whatnot from your hands, and nursing you to health.
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