I stand in awe,
Starring down a chamber of lead horrors;
what are the chances I mutter.
As the suspense claws at my nerves,
I finally blurt out,"I have no money man;
Please don't hurt me."
As I pray for a response of mercy,
I study this masked menace to my safety closely.
The twitch in his eye,
the determination in his piercing stare,
The steadiness in his pistol-wielding hand,
and most of all,
the fear-inducing silence he projects.
after the piss finally dries on my leg;
He replies "how did that make you feel?
Out of control?
Helpless?
In need for mercy and a miracle?
And most of all,scared?
Not sure when the last time you take a breath will be?
All the feelings and emotions you just felt,
Is the torture homeless people endure everyday.
How did it feel to be in my shoes for a moment?"
A contest entry
- Point Blank ,PW, One winner 300 points by RyanosaurusWrecks.
300 points, ended February 1, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Erase the Hate January Contest: Tolerance by Page Shut down.
600 points, ended February 6, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
whats your opinion about it?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Sweet :)
Brilliant! -
For Silver in the Erase the Hate Tolerance contest
-
Very interesting role reversal
An interesting twist mid-poem, and a surprise to see the mugger turned metaphor for a real teacher, not a chalk and talk hypocrite but a guerrilla for the truth.
This was a difficult contest for me to judge. I would have just about made this one a tie for second of third, or maybe even first, but for one problem:
How does violence teach the unwilling mind to have empathy for those who are downtrodden or the object of injustice?" Is this the way to teach truths, or is this the willing humility of the subject of the poem, the role reversed lyrical I of the poem?
I must take a break while I consider and decide how to judge this close contest.
-
very powerful! It really does take you in.
Good write. Congratulations on the bronze!
-
W O W
I am speechless.
Just... damn.
This is one strong write.
Thanks for entering your write in A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
-
dang I wish I was as good as you are lol
-
this had special meaning for me because my son is homelss. He is grown and because of emotional problems we can do nothing to help. We've tried. I pray every night that someone will be kind ... thank you for writing and sharing with the group.
-
well done!! interesting .... thanks for sharing
-
Very well done. Thought provoking. It is sad when people need to go this far for understanding. Good job and good luck in the contests you're in.
Chelsea
-
Excellent write here
So many people have no idea what the homeless people go through every second of their life . People complain of the care given to our prison people today yet care not the same way for the homeless . Whats wrong with this picture .Have you ever thought that maybe thats why their is so much elegal things going on just to get in out of the cold a place where they can eat and feel warmth . Homeless so often is the later of drugs and alcohole where they dont fit into the society and in the downfall finds themself totally broke and yet too proud to ask for help . If something is not done in this world about this drug cituation we will have more homeless on our streets than criminals in our prisons . A broke society getting closer andcloser to home .As the economy falls as it has in the past three years and the jobs taken away and homes lost from hard working citizens who is next think about it for we all are vulnerable to the fall in the coming years
-
This is great my friend!
Wonderful work bringing this prompt
to life with your words. Great
imagery and emotions as well.
Good luck to you with it in
the contest and thanks for sharing it!
Jeremy0826 -
BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!
oh..i just love this! OMG! you did this so well!
We were drawn into your every word, and couldn't wait
to read the next stanza's each one reading carefully,
and then POW! and I do mean Poem of the week!
That was absolutely brillant, and what a wonderful
message for us all to learn!
excellent job dear poet! just excellent!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : ))))))))))))) wow! young poet you are growing! I'm so proud of you! almost tearful with joy!
-
wow, this is a very powerful poem that you wrote. the imagery that you used is so vivid. it brings the reader into the actual event and you do it quite well. excellent job.
good luck in the contest.
kat
-
i like it'''reminds me of a Grisham novel,The Street Lawyer...check it out if you get a chance
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
