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Suspended Beauty

 

 Delicate fissures are cut into flesh,

 frostbitten wonders fall to the earth

 one, by one, by one.

 they are plucked by purple fingers

 that are numb to the tips.

 

 Pinpricks wounds stain petals red

 as digits bring them to lips,

 and the velvety softness snags

 on the finely chapped surface.

 

 The fall

 of midsummer snow

 cannot kill the flowers.

 

 And children laugh

 in the corners of our vision;

 forgotten bone gardens

 filled with winter intentions

 that cannot choke growing seeds.

 

 They kneel

 'round the tree of life

 and pluck the blossoms

 just to watch them fall

 one, by one, by one. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Image by by geckokid at deviantart.com

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Tangled Angle
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    Line breaking in the beginning was kind of over-done, like it kind of seemed choppy...first stanza, that is. Besides that, I thought it flowed well, and I really liked the imagery that the metaphors made. Well done.

  • Metaphorist silver member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    Extended metaphor- my favorite And well done at that. So many great lines in here particularly the first stanza and “…winter intentions / that cannot choke growing seeds”. Superb. Thanks for entering!

  • Amaranthine Lover silver member
    February 22
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful I love it!
  • Congratulations, Chelsea on the GOLD! It was a beautiful poem, and you know I'm one of your biggest fans!


  • Cerulean gold member
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    Reaction 10/10
    Originality 10/10
    Creativity 9/10
    Line-breaks/emphasis/flow 10/10
    Poetic device/verbiage 9/10
    Ideas/metaphors/imagery 10/10
    Cohesion 10/10
    Understandable/makes sense 10/10
    Title 9/10
    Overall poetic effort 5/5
    Emotion/personality/edge 4/5

    96/100(Same score as Sulfane gave you)

    I'm so glad you entered!
    I liked this a lot.

  • Naridill gold member
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    Reaction 10/10
    Originality 10/10
    Creativity 9/10
    Line-breaks/emphasis/flow 10/10
    Poetic device/verbiage 9/10
    Ideas/metaphors/imagery 10/10
    Cohesion 10/10
    Understandable/makes sense 10/10
    Title 9/10
    Overall poetic effort 5/5
    Emotion/personality/edge 4/5

    96/100


    This flow and feeling around this piece is just calm and beautiful. Relaxed and in some parts painful and sad but still such beauty. You have gifted life to this image with phrasing and such reflections of memories tainted through.

    Thanks for entering,
    Mark will be around to comment soon.

  • Ellis gold member
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is so inspiring! It just makes me want to be so much more bad. And it is a perfect description of humans.

    Tiki Cat (billionaire cat CEO)
    Buy TIKI'S GOURMET CAT FOOD
    "Too Good For Humanns"


  • Holley-Anne
    January 17
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing.
    This write is really deep.
    Its beautiful, i love it.
    xx

1 - 8 of 8