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Deep December

Attention!
listen
can you hear the footsteps?
can you feel it approaching?

The joys of
feeling this season
as we join together
from the small babies
to the ancient bones
of so many children grown old.

Stop!
listen
to the cities breathing
to every heart beating.

Hear Christmas approaching
it is the magic of God
so children,
Listen!


Author notes

Originally written on Decemeber 17th, 2008 in the deep darkness of December.

Entered this contest wishing to share a bit of my unique style and personal experience.

A contest entry

Give me a critical thought.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • micol
    January 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done, almost incantatory, especially with "the ancient bones/of so many children grown old," juxtaposing "babies" with "bones"--an intriguing touch.


  • Dienush
    January 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I am glad you have entered.

  • Dienush
    January 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Indeed this is pretty unique, I like how the exclamations make this sound more personal, somehow as it's really addressed to the one reading and no one else. Also like the feeling here, very holiday-like.
    As for the experiment part of my contest, I don't think you were one of the subjects, were you?
    Thanks a lot for your entry.

    ~Diana

    • Scion
      January 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      No, indeed I was not.. but you said that you welcomed anyone who wished to share their unique style. So I went along with this. Hope you liked it though.