When I heard the news
that you still loved her
My heart ... became a lemon
Bitter juice flushed through my veins
As I recalled
everything I thought was true
and wondered...
what it was to you
Author notes
For a contest
A contest entry
- Dark Love Gone Bad by lordmalvok.
450 points, ended January 19, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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A powerfully and intense piece, you can almost feel the heart breaking. The emotions have been portrayed wonderfully. Beautifully penned
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This made me want to cry for you!
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You have some great lines in this poem, i like the comparison to your blood and a lemon.
Good luck in the contest
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Personal
Judas Kiss
When I heard the news
that you still loved her
My heart ... became a lemon
{nice metaphor}
Bitter juice flushed through my veins
everything I thought was true
and wondered.......
what it was to you!
Just some thoughts
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Very bittersweet. I feel for you.; Breaks my heart.
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Rather magical with it's dramatic message. I like -- Thank you. --- I'm sure someone special lovers you with a passion.
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~whew~ Glad this was for a contest. You don't deserve yet another rollercoaster ride. Your strong beginning pulled me in and you kept it together through the end. Best of luck in the contest!
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