It was noticed at school, he looked such a fool,
On his own in a three legged race,
As fast as you please, he won it with ease,
The couples had egg on their face.
In long pants since four, with three legs : what's more,
A prosthetic foot in the middle,
And stuck on with glue, was one matching shoe,
('E were allus alone fer a widdle).
Barnum and Bailey were phoning him daily,
The poor lad looked such a geek,
Barnum had said, "Lad, tek it as read,
You'll mek fortunes, you look such a freak!"
But 'is secret was out - a girl let out a shout,
'E were watching 'er climbing the stair,
She appeared quite hurt ; he'd looked up her skirt,
An' 'is middle leg shot in the air!
The girl was called Maud, an' she called 'im a fraud,
She ripped off 'is foot, I must mention,
'E looked very silly, with 'is frigging huge willy,
Standing there to attention!
She picked up a stick, and moving quite quick,
Gave him a whack on the cock,
She dampened 'is ardour by hitting it harder,
An' said, "NOW try an' look up my frock!"
Going to the school nurse, an' frankly, what's worse,
When she saw it, she let out a scream,
She said, "Stone me, that's big," and she gave it a dig,
An' applied moisturising cream.
She were rubbing it in - on 'is face were a grin,
'E said, "Nurse, I won't need a plaster,
Don't mind if I ask, I'm enjoying this task,
But please rub a little bit faster!"
Just then in walked the Head - 'e were called Father Ted,
You see, it's a Catholic school,
'E said, "Nurse, please inform, me if this is the norm,
Do you always do this, as a rule?"
Nursey turned red, and said, "Oo Father Ted,
I just do it SOME of the time,
Please don't be vexed, I shall send you a text,
An' YOU'LL be the next one in line!"
Between me and you, this poem is true,
An' the reason I know, don't you see,
The lad in the story, with the huge morning glory,
Frankly, readers, was ME!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Oh, you awnery little man! Well, I guess I shouldn't say "little" should I? This is SO funny! You always make laugh!!! You are very talented my friend.
-
-
Silly sausage, it's 'ornery, from horny!
Tks 4 readerating.
R.
-
-
Robust and Exciting
What an unexpected ending; that changes everything.
-
-
It COULD be a fib Tiki!
R.
-
-
A shaggy dog story
, with the accent on shaggy. You had me going here. I thought from the title it was going to be business as usual and then I began to think it was a true Manxman story as I read it but had to do yet another rethink as you reverted to form.
A glorious tale with, for the most part, some great tight rhyming and bouncing rhythm. I think line 11 should be "tek IT as read" but other than that great work. It takes the
Jim
-
-
Thanks for the comments and the "edit" Jimbo. You're quite right, it was a typo.
Kind regards,
Robin.
-
-
Hmmmm....
Well dear Robin...how did I know that this was going to be about your "third leg* ?
Another enjoyable, naughty write from you 
-
-
Tks Jules.
Howizya?
R. -
-
Yep...all's pretty good
-
-
PS Plz look at my penultimate effort called "The Man With Two Heads".
I think it's just about the best piece I've ever written, for rhyme and silliness!
Luv,
Robin.
-
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
