In brittle light I see the winter's face,
Unkind and harsh she stares me in the eye,
Her beauty has a timeless, tragic grace,
I hear her voice, her breathless, aching cry.
Her secrets sing of sorrow in the sun,
Tomorrows built of dreams and gentle tears,
I'm sabotaged, I'm lost, my hopes undone,
As if the world consumed me with her fears.
The air is crisp, the earth is cold and dry,
The stream is frozen in the morning light,
The clouds drift endlessly across the sky
And dusk is early, echoes of the night.
The winter's tranquil breath flows like a sea,
To drown the living, dark as destiny.
Author notes
Room without doors
A contest entry
- Invite Only - My Favorite Rhymers by Frodofan.
600 points, ended January 31, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Excellent
Wow, I really like this one a lot. Your imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Again well done, indeed.
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a dark atmospheric shiver here, the cold reaching across to touch the spirit, there is hope here too though as the poem unfolds. a good poem.
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This reads so well, smooth, good imagery. My favorite line: I'm sabotaged, I'm lost, my hopes undone,
Bravo. I love it.
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Your poetry is wonderful. It's full of depth and has excellent imagery. Loved this.
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Captivating
You captured the feelings of aching and longing that often accompany winter perfectly. The balance between the first and second halves portraying feeling and physical is excellent. I also loved the alliteration in line five. Keep'tup! ~SIK
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Beautiful
Beautiful is only a word, but this poem cuers and hurts,
it is wonderful, very nice :-)) Marek
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This is Winter! Exactly.
Excellent Writing
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BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
This is so relaxing!
's I am one who does not like winter anymore since I am older but I still dwell in her beauty everynight.
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Wow!! This is simply stunning. Your poetry has a natural force, like a stream or river. There is a musical quality to your poetry, which is essential. This poem is wonderful. I love winter. I think you have captured it exquisitely with this piece.
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Very imaginative and as always perfect rhyming poetry. It is very hard to comment this quality when poem is talking itself. Perfect!
~Sonja~
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I loved the imagery in this, it was rly beautiful!There was a nice flow to this and was summed up well in the last lines.Best of luck in the contest
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Sonnet Reversed
While life remains 'spite strife or scope at sea,
freewill may nudge the hand of destiny.
Dawn early chirps, while dusk like polar night
in summer stretches timeless cross the sky,
Hope's stream flows forth to span both dark and light,
what frozen seemed may thaw, joy's tinder dry.
Tomorrow, built of dreams, refutes fears, years,
and tears, to shine as beacon, struggles won
No sabotage no compromise appears
as threat fate whirled undoing work well done.
Her beauty keeps its promise, timeless grace,
I hear her voice, seductive siren cry,
blush blooms alight, heeds not the seasons' trace,
when kind and soft aloft twinned souls shall fly ...
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Your poem is filled with vivid imagery and beautiful flow throughout. Such a sad way to look at winter and the chill its breath brings to life.
Beautiful and outstanding!!
I wish you all the best in the contest!
Jasminerose
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Very pretty. So smooth! I really enjoyed it.
Thank you very much for entering!
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