Without the warmth of your colour
the solidity of my loneliness breaks
red against the emptiness of lost chances.
The undiluted passion of your words still
an echo within the soft silk of captivating
moments, held strong inside the enchantment
of a night.
My days and nights are now this corundum
of colourless rhyme lost in verse that once
escaped when these fissures formed.
In a list
A contest entry
- ruby by Saffron.
800 points, ended February 10, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Interesting metaphor - visual and complex - infused with the palpable ache of longing. - NANGALEEMA
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thank you
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You made me look up a word with this poem. Good for you
I really like what you have done here--you have taken the contest topic and given it a twist and something that I wasn't really expecting, but that is something I think you are skilled at with your writing. This is full of metaphor, and I understand exactly what you are talking about here...
I am so glad you wrote so glad you wrote this wonderful piece for this contest. I am honored by your talent.
Saffron
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I like poems that make me look up words. I has to look up your title "O"... I had no idea of what CORUNDUM was. Well, I found;
"When someone lists the most famous gemstones such as diamond, topaz, aquamarine, emerald and garnet, corundum does not usually get mentioned. However, its two varieties are sure to be on any list of gemstones. The red variety of corundum is known as ruby and all the other colors of corundum are known as sapphire.
Corundum is the second hardest natural mineral known to science. The hardest mineral, diamond is still four times harder than corundum. The hardness of corundum can be partially attributed to the strong and short oxygen-aluminum bonds. These bonds pull the oxygen and aluminum atoms close together, making the crystal not only hard but also quite dense for a mineral made up of two relatively light elements."
Ah-ha! interesting!
And so going back to your poem - it as all the more vivid as to how you accentuate the beauty, the strength and the fragility of the bonds between two lovers!
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Such beauty in your writes. God, how I miss this from you...But, I am patient. SMILE!
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"Without the warmth of your colour
the solidity of my loneliness breaks
red against the emptiness of lost chances."
Sighhh...This is such a lovely, pensive penning, dear Scribe. I think we can all identify with these echoes, my Friend. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie. 
Wanda
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lost chances..echoes and colorless rhyme; this is indeed a ruby as if without its color, nice take on the prompt, there is still always that longing I feel in your beautiful poems, interesting vocabulary in this one. - aM
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"this corundum of colourless rhyme"
Great to see you posting again and with a red, colourless beauty like this one... the echo of warmth. Lovely verse that escaped from your pen, my friend... you make us wait long for these.
~ Nicolette
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A jewell of a write..always such a treat to read your words. Best to you.
Blessings~
Az
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