another tear; my
pain is wasted on
empty moments
Whatcha think?
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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uhm....nice......is this a haiku?
sounds so deep.... -
sad. its like your inlove with someone and their not with you so you hurt but they dont realize how much you are hurting on the inside...
i feel like this sometimes...
and its like your crying for every reason that no one else can see so you just feel empty
well done on a good write
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nice vowel and consonant rhymes. cliche - touche. I like the dynamics here, the suck of emptiness balances the expulsion of tear.
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ah but we have to it a million times before i think before we learn anything for we are ignorant humanity - all those emopty times can be transformed into fulltimes if we only had the inclination and i think here with love for other parts opf life we do have the inclination yet we set our love life away from busy making money life that sometimes we do miss out
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The meaningful tear ...
is the one shared in compassion. When tear becomes a cliche, the reader shudders for the emptiness of this world ... and yes: then pain is wasted, indeed ...
Precious snapshot.
Regards!
Myra
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How true
You say a lot in just nine words, I've felt this way many times in my history. -
I like this... reminds me of my current state of mind
t
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cliche can sometimes amaze us like your poem...that is done here very well
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I forgot This!!!
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I love it! its short and to the point. i rather read a short poem cause i think you can get more out of them!!! this
is for you W/B anytime. 
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awww, this is very sad
great write though
take care
stephanie
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Short and to the point...I like those kinds of poems. Length poems are easy to get your point across because you have more room, but shorter poems take more talent, which you obviously have!!
Mylee -
Ha ha, I like it...
Sort and sweet,
Yet very deep.
Interestingly enough,
It reminded me of a cliché,
My Dad use to say;
That I never heard anyone else ever say:
That was a twist on another cliché,
When he would say:
"If never happened."
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Perhaps, but are tears and pain really wasted? Both serve a purpose, however expressed and expelled, so that even those 'empty' moments are filled and only remain empty in our own minds. (so see, not so empty after all)
A good write, my dear. You make us think
Dee
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wow. though very short, it conveyed alot of emotion. this is where a real poet is displayed. when he/she can write a short piece like this and speak volumes to the reader. very well penned.
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aye, empty moments, but still we throw tears out, perhaps we mourn the dead space of those times, a good poem.
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Although this was very cliché (as you already know), I think it represented such common emotions of sorrow and seemingly useless moments quite well. It was easy to relate to. This was quite expressive and emotionally powerful. It causes readers to think about when and why they have also experienced those same feelings, as well as how they handled their situations. (Although sadness is a personal emotion, it’s also very universal. People go through different events and experiences in their lives, but as humans, we all share similar emotions.) I have an early poem, that I wrote in 2005, posted that is somewhat like this.
- Andi
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i think though this was short it is very strong.
you had amazing words here. -
hmmmmm simple and complex all in the same very good an empty emotion shown with a tear i like it
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ummmm. not sure what I think. but I have something for you
....oooO
.....(....). ......... ......
......)../.. ...Oooo.. ..
.....(_/.... .(....).. .....
............ ...)../.. ......
............ ...(_/... .....
............ ......... ......
....oooO.... ......... ..
.....(....). ......... ......
......)../.. ...Oooo.. ..
.....(_/.... .(....).. .....
............ ...)../.. ......
............ ...(_/... .....
............ ......... ......
... I WAS ............ .
.......... HERE ...... -
a moment that is empty of emotion, yet the tears flow softly...a waste of time? I would say, not for the tears fill the empty void.. Niaish so much for sharing...
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I too read this becuase I wrote a poem under the same title myself... This poem presents a simple yet complex idea. I agree though this can be realated to just about everyone at some point or another in our lives.
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I read this because I just recently wrote a poem entitled cliche as well and wanted to see how yours compared. Interestingly, I feel like your piece matches up with mine quite nicely! Of course, the wonderful thing about this piece is that's it's very open to interpretation! For that reason I may be very wrong in it's meaning haha, but that's what I gathered from it. Also, the fact that it's so simple gives this universal feel toward it. I think just about anyone can connect to this piece, everyone has empty moments. Overall, simplistic, nice write.
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*hmmm*
kinda short but it shows so much meaning and feeling!! nice job:-)
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I like how this one begins. But I guess it sounds to me like it's the beginning of something. By itself it just sounds kind of hollow because there doesn't really seem to be a real center in it, like maybe an image or something. I read though and I thought right away to myself that it seems like it's the first stanza to a three or four stanza poem. Do you know what I mean or am I not making much sense like usual? lol
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this is a deceptively complex sentence poetically presented: at first, I thought, oh, my tear is just a waste of time, but then i gave it a second look ... i find this image going into my mind: a tear filtering through the moments of the day which really matter, which we live for or which we are trying to find a way to elimnate for those moments which really matter, and a tear, pain, when it comes to any moment of importance, adds something, a strength or a shimmer of learning which we undergo.
yes. this is very, wickedly cool. quite neat. i like this. it is actually brilliant, but disguised as an off-hand remark, a cliche ,,, which it is not, unless poignant thinking is cliched,,,which it is not.
I haven't read your stuff much before, Kevin. I must say, I now certainly have no idea why that would be.
consider yourself under my scanning radar from now on.
Moqui says
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This little ditty summed up my bad day,
got a speeding ticket, blew the fuses in my house,
checking account overdrawn and dropped a frozen chicken on my toe.
So for me the last line of your poem would be,
'empty comments', ( that would take care of all the cussing I uttered).
Nice work,
Victoria
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I have alot of that. Car is on the Fritz! Good Job, explains my predicament ....these days.
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i forgot to give u these
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this is good short but to the point
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