the stars falling
from overhead
the earth coalescing
into it's source
my dreams collapsing at
the vision you present
such heights and such
sorrows
Author notes
going through my old notebooks looking for something that wasn't terrible..
Whatcha think?
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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100th Hoodwink!
Kevin,
I like the powerful imagery found in your poem, the natural world meshing with the personal feelings. The contrast in the second verse is thought provoking, well done!
You have been chosen as a victim of our 100th Hoodwinking Celebration for The Poetic Bandits, we want to let you know we appreciate AllPoetry and all you have done to make it the wonderful Poetic Community that it is. Thank you!
Dennis
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i liked it,... it reminded me of someone that is depressed in a way im not sure but anyway all i know is that i realy liked it
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into it's source its
ah yeah such mad heights and sorrows that drag us but is not that how we live and learn i don't know know do you recall that astory of the chicken saying the sky is falling
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Nice write!! Powerful piece in just a few short words.
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Sometimes ...
it is hard to remain hopeful in the eye of sorrow.
Textured poem.
Love
Myra
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Smiles
I dont think it is terrible at all. It is sad, and almost meloncoly, two traits I like a lot.
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well this deff. isnt terrible
i really like it
i know alot of people feel like that at sometime..and its very sad
*hugs*
take care
stephanie
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This was really good. Short and wonderful!!
Mylee -
great work you have here enjoyed reading from you.
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Very nicely done...few words, yet a punch
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reaches inside and pulls the tears from the heart...fallen stars, collapsing dreams...deep sorrows flowing your pen!...I since a heart of loneliness ~
Niaish for sharing you with me...
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*nice*
youve gone beyond expressing the feeeling of sorrow!! nice peace over all:-)
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YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE IT WHEN A GOOD THING BECOMES A BAD 1 !! THIS PLACE SUCKS I DO NOT CARE IF U CICK ME OFF BECOUSE IM LEAVING !!!!! IM FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW SO THENX A LOT DUMB ASS!!
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YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE IT WHEN A GOOD THING BECOMES A BAD 1 !! THIS PLACE SUCKS I DO NOT CARE IF U CICK ME OFF BECOUSE IM LEAVING !!!!! IM FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW SO THENX A LOT DUMB ASS!!
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YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE IT WHEN A GOOD THING BECOMES A BAD 1 !! THIS PLACE SUCKS I DO NOT CARE IF U CICK ME OFF BECOUSE IM LEAVING !!!!! IM FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW SO THENX A LOT DUMB ASS!!
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nice progression ... the first stanza and the second stanza lines corresponding first, second, third, fourth, are metaphorically linked in skillful way ... this is a very sad, and very romantic pen, for in the final stanza you add heighth as well as depth and you add sorrow at its end ... the stars falling have not yet touched down, have they. our memories bring our thoughts into connection with our hearts and we can then see that we are connected to the firmament and the things of power and beauty around us, sometimes the connection is most exquisitely painful, yet how we grow from this!
your little poem got all that out of me
... i like your poetry a lot.
your author note is hilarious in a fundamentally sane way
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I actually love pretty much everything about this It's very creative.
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lots of power in a short poem your really good at that
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An all encompassing vision of natural occuring observations in life.Kinda sorrowful feeling is read in your second verse. I'm reading disappointment in assessing others actions.Thought provolking piece.Lots of power in short versed order.
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