Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
 

[ the stars falling ]

the stars falling
from overhead
the earth coalescing
into it's source

my dreams collapsing at
the vision you present
such heights and such
sorrows

Author notes

going through my old notebooks looking for something that wasn't terrible..

In a list

Whatcha think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 17 of 17
  • individuality gold member
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    into it's source its
    ah yeah such mad heights and sorrows that drag us but is not that how we live and learn i don't know know do you recall that astory of the chicken saying the sky is falling
  • Topnotchsy
    August 13
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write!! Powerful piece in just a few short words.


  • myrataal silver member
    July 30
    Edit | Reply

    Sometimes ...

    it is hard to remain hopeful in the eye of sorrow.

    Textured poem.

    Love
    Myra

  • kissofsun
    July 4
    Edit | Reply

    Smiles

    I dont think it is terrible at all. It is sad, and almost meloncoly, two traits I like a lot.


  • Nicedreams
    June 5

    Edit | Reply
    well this deff. isnt terrible
    i really like it
    i know alot of people feel like that at sometime..and its very sad
    *hugs*
    take care
    stephanie

  • This was really good. Short and wonderful!!

    Mylee

  • bangbaby
    April 14
    Edit | Reply
    great work you have here enjoyed reading from you.

  • Rclane gold member
    April 3
    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely done...few words, yet a punch


  • Tender wolf gold member
    March 26

    Edit | Reply

    reaches inside and pulls the tears from the heart...fallen stars, collapsing dreams...deep sorrows flowing your pen!...I since a heart of loneliness ~

    Niaish for sharing you with me...


  • dragon24
    February 25
    Edit | Reply

    *nice*

    youve gone beyond expressing the feeeling of sorrow!! nice peace over all:-)


  • RottenSmiley157
    February 13
    Edit | Reply
    YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE IT WHEN A GOOD THING BECOMES A BAD 1 !! THIS PLACE SUCKS I DO NOT CARE IF U CICK ME OFF BECOUSE IM LEAVING !!!!! IM FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW SO THENX A LOT DUMB ASS!!

  • RottenSmiley157
    February 13
    Edit | Reply
    YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE IT WHEN A GOOD THING BECOMES A BAD 1 !! THIS PLACE SUCKS I DO NOT CARE IF U CICK ME OFF BECOUSE IM LEAVING !!!!! IM FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW SO THENX A LOT DUMB ASS!!

  • RottenSmiley157
    February 13

    Edit | Reply
    YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE IT WHEN A GOOD THING BECOMES A BAD 1 !! THIS PLACE SUCKS I DO NOT CARE IF U CICK ME OFF BECOUSE IM LEAVING !!!!! IM FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW SO THENX A LOT DUMB ASS!!

  • Moqui Takoda
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    nice progression ... the first stanza and the second stanza lines corresponding first, second, third, fourth, are metaphorically linked in skillful way ... this is a very sad, and very romantic pen, for in the final stanza you add heighth as well as depth and you add sorrow at its end ... the stars falling have not yet touched down, have they. our memories bring our thoughts into connection with our hearts and we can then see that we are connected to the firmament and the things of power and beauty around us, sometimes the connection is most exquisitely painful, yet how we grow from this!

    your little poem got all that out of me ... i like your poetry a lot.

    your author note is hilarious in a fundamentally sane way

  • Dienush Greeters member
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    I actually love pretty much everything about this It's very creative.


  • Mystal LaRose
    January 24
    Edit | Reply
    lots of power in a short poem your really good at that

  • suseann
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    An all encompassing vision of natural occuring observations in life.Kinda sorrowful feeling is read in your second verse. I'm reading disappointment in assessing others actions.Thought provolking piece.Lots of power in short versed order.

1 - 17 of 17