for you I’d bend my throat
to fit around the stem of you
tease with gentle grate of tooth
& wet slide of velvet tongue,
one arm around your thigh,
a hand stroking your pulse
your fingers buried in my hair
as you moan-sigh my name
& it sounds good
your muscles tremble, then tense
& I never let up
or miss a beat
or rest my lips
fire is coming,
liquid on the boil
& I melt with the heat of you
you groan my name
in a small roar,
animal & basic
you’d never forget me…
In a list
whatcha think of this? critique welcome
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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from an old friend...
you commented once a long time ago on a poem of mine "you should never be late for dinner" and i found it lol, so since im under a new name now.(needed a new path) I have added it to my current writes, only because i think it's appropriate.
anyways,
*fanning self* now i need a man... lol.. great write!
I like how you used simple words to make it "hot"
good job!!!
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I love the opening lines ... this is the kind of thing I want to learn to do ... er to write.
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I like this...but would have almost liked less telling here.
And yet, you didn't do it a lot. You really did well with the images and the sensuality of the piece.
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What an opening line. I actually got waaayyy to much visuals on that one
lol 
Erotica isn't really my kind of thing to be honest, because most of the poetry is too bluntly. You, on the other side, and this write... You managed to wrap it all up in a nice little box of metaphors and great imagery
Thanks for entering the contest
Leander -
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erotica isn't my usual topic
did i scare ya?
my bad
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a bit
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Smoking
A write of pure love and passion.
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wonderful explaination
of pure pleasure. Reminds me of someone I'll never forget.
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"for you I’d bend my throat
to fit around the stem of you"
Nice entry into a very hot sensual write.
"fire is coming,
liquid on the boil
& I melt with the heat of you"
Your use of metaphors is genius.
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Holy snit!!!
That was so awesome my scalp is tingling and I could use a smoke. Wait, I don't smoke?!
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hot! sassy!
'for you i'd bend my throat to fit around the stem of you' amazing lines that grab and hold attention right off.
way to go on this one
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"for you I’d bend my throat
to fit around the stem of you"
Wonderful opening lines! They held me captive for quite a while before I could read the rest of the poem. This one is graphic yet so very well written, very sensual and hot. You do know how to write erotica. Captivating! And btw, loved the last line!
~ Nicolette
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thank you
this is my first stab at erotica. I've done sensual but never full-out erotica. you've given me encouragement to try some more
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yes, animal and basic for sure. Liked how you used that title line in your poem, the flow and the creative use of space here. Easy to read and understand, sensual and very suggestive - hot and heated as well.
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wow hot stuff and ammense writing from the metaphor queen great stuff erotit yet classy love it so did my loins ( ;
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