would he know

as i watch the world self destruct
yet in its natural beauty i stare in awe,
and i daydream in class...
thoughts cross my mind.
i start to notice all the little things,
every sudden movement or sound...,
and i just stop.
i open my mind, close my eyes...and let all my worries slip away.
and maybe just for a second, i stop breathing.
i open my eyes... and to my surprise, they are no longer dry.
i feel the warm wind on my face
and even welcome the cold with a smile,
but i quickly cover my cheeks to cloth.
i start to wonder if tomorrow i didnt have another breath
or i was diagnosed with cancer...
and i cant help but wonder what kind of impact i made on people
and what kind of person i was.
so if, in fact, tomorrow never comes,
will the ones i love know i truly loved them?
would he know that deep in my heart i am devistated and crushed with fear at his every departure?
would he know that i want to kiss him even when i'm angry with him?
would he know that i dream about us dancing endlessly one day...
even if there was no music?
would he know that i wanted more?
and that it was never good enough?
no matter how many times i told him that i loved him,
i would never convince myself being worthy of being loved by him.
or that it drives me crazy to sleep by myself every night just with the memory of him there and the empty feeling of him not.
now that i know and feel the greatness and wonderful comfort of having him hold me,
protecting me from the world... i never want to close me eyes without it.
to try to fathom the love my heart contains for him would be unbearably impossible.
you see, to wake up and he's the first thing i see,
is the greatest feeling in the world.
or to turn over in the middle of the night to feel him there and kiss him.
but the absolute worst feeling in the world
is what sweeps over me when i watch him walk away, and here him say goodbye.
i'm left feeling empty and alone to face the world by myself...
but it leaves me feeling anxious to see him again.
nothing could ever replace or compare to his warm touch
that covers every inch of my body.
or how he strokes my face and just looks at me.
or how he wipes my tears and tells me not to cry.
he is, in fact, my escape from my life and despite all the fighting
and moments where he wouldn't even want to be around me,
i would do it ALL all over again
just to feel the way i do in my heart when we make up
and that kiss feels just like the first.
i cant get over how everything he does is always right...
and i wouldn't give it for the world.
i would go through every argument, every fight, every moment of hurt,
just to have one minute in his arms when everything is perfect.
i knew it was him he day God showed me and opened my eyes...
the day when his smile made my heart skip a beat.. and it still does.
and i realized i couldn't live without him.