The howl of the night,
The wail of the fight
Is all too unberable to see.
When they run,
When they have fun
Is all just a shun.
Why can't you just leave them be.
They have done no harm,
yet you hurt them.
They are loving and kind,
True and divine.
The howl of the wolf is such a bliss,
That sends shivers up ones spine.
But to me they are beauty and misunderstood.
Author notes
The pain of a wolf is all to much to bare.
SAVE THE WOLFYS!! =)
A contest entry
- SunfloweRose - Either My Favorites, or Those Who Have Me As Their Favorite by SunDew.
1200 points, ended February 13, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I hope you know this is JUST a poem...
Comments
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Do you have the revision done?
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Sorry I would have done it but I never had time I am sorry, I really would have. I will try to get it another day and possibly enter it into another contest of yours that you might have that matches the theame
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whitefirewolf
It's OK. I certainly hope to see it when I have another contest, but if you revise it before I have another one, please let me know. This was only my second one. I only do contests when I have over 1000 points, & it may well be months before I do another.
Thank you for sharing your passion with me, though.
~SunfloweRose
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Wolves are very beautiful creatures, & I can see how they could be your passion.
The rhyming sounds forced in the lines:
"When they run,
When they have fun
Is all just a shun."
What are the wolves shunning by having fun? To me, it doesn't make sense. I think you put "shun" in there to make it rhyme.
While I like the idea that created this, the poem itself would not stand the test of time. This one would fall through the cracks because it doesn't say to the reader, "I am unforgettable!" That's what Shakespeare's poetry says, & Edgar Allan Poe's, too. It stays with you for the longest time after you read it.
Please consider revising this. I'd like to see it become a masterpiece.
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