I am nothing more
to you than an annoyance.
My touch- repulsive;
the very thought of
my body heat is enough
to make you gag.
My smile is dreaded;
you desire to pull loose
the dimpled flesh.
My words are insignificant;
all you hear is
stuttered nonsense.
I am nothing.
At least, that’s how you
make me feel.
Your thoughts are
empty of me.
Your blank stare and
sinister laugh
make me disintegrate
into marble floors.
I am nothing.
You took all of me-
dragged it behind you
when you left.
Did you come back
because you didn’t
slam the door hard enough?
I won’t follow you out
this time.
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark Love Gone Bad by lordmalvok.
450 points, ended January 19, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Interesting. It has a cold feeling, which suits it well. It's always hard when things like this happen, but this is a great discription of such an event.
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Great!!!!
THis was a great write. I could really feel the pain in it. Keep up the good work.
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I know all too well the feeling of being nothing. You've captured it well. Great job.
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My words are insignificant;
all you hear is
stuttered nonsense.
D:
depressing much??
Haha.. I know how this feels tho.. to have someone make you feel like your nothing. GAH. curse them!! (it always helps me
)
neways..
Like this poem in a much-like way -
-You took all of me-
dragged it behind you
when you left.
that was really nice. good image.
-Why did you come back?
Because you didn’t
slam the door hard enough?
perhaps make it one question by taking out the why?
very nice.
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Quite simply a powerful read. I wish you the best of luck.
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the narrator sounds very weak in the beginning, almost as if they surrendered to the person. But the strength shown at the end is incredible. the short lines make for a quickly read poem. is it meant to have a quick beat or a slow one?
I do relate to this just the same.
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ooooh... stinging anger
I love the strong stand you take at the end - that is what separates this from a good poem and categorizes it as great!
Wonderful dicton and rhythm.
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This definitely dances on the fringes of essential human thought. The flow here was well placed and the final realization was great.
Well done
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I love this.
It really just floored me. I have truly felt this way, as if someone hads stomped me into the mud as completely as humanly possible, then they come back for round two. At some point you just have to be the one who says enough. I'm done with you. "I won't follow you out this time."
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so far, i like how the flow went along well with the poem's theme. i know how it feels when someone hates you and feels repulsive and all =[ please continue your write ^^
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