...and desire was a flower
light in a woman's eyes,
softer red petals
an unspoken whisper
in waiting
Author notes
twenty one words including title
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt 12 entries/30 words or less by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended January 16, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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great work
short and cute....
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a brilliant write..
congrats for the gold..
in few words u have spoken so much.
great work!
~Parth.
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I like the brevity of this piece. The first two lines proves that there is more than words.
Succinct write fellow poet.
Thanks for sharing.
HENSLEY
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Yes! Oh my! This is loaded . . . so much in so few words, and each phrase so memorable! You saved the best for last: an unspoken whisper in waiting. Well done!
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Came to get this one for my list of favorites
;f
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so well done with a romantic side but no overkill at all on this one-- not an easy thing to write but you did so beautifully.
so worthy of the trophy on this one - congrats!
Kim
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MMmmmm ahhh, yup like this one too, subtle and sweet, deep too. I see why you got the gold. Can you teach me to be succinct??? * grin* Li
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wow!
im sure that "wow" says alot. omgosh, this is stunning! its beautiful and the gold was well deserved
keep penning
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how beautiful! ...and desire was a flower. wonderful!
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absolutely beautiful! This is a gift, that you can say so much in so few words, well done and deserving of gold in my opinion.."an unspoken whisper
in waiting" These were my fav lines
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Short and sweet yet says so much. terrific job my friend and good luck in the contest
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A nice winner..... congrats!
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beautiful!!
really amazing! well said.very effective and sweet! i really enjoyed this piece
juliet
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leaves me with a feeling of expectation...
...wondering what is in the 'unspoken whisper,' the ''waiting.' Very effective.
It is somehow quiet and inspirational. You say a lot in a few words.
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A nice short and sweet poem. It truly deserved that gold. I enjoyed it from the beginning to the end, and it kept my attention. Lovely job. I hope to read more from you.
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This feels very tender to me. Makes me think that if its said outload it might disappear. ... an unspoken whisper, in waiting....
that drums up a lot of feeling in me.. nicely done.
Criss -
What a wondrous gold!
and a wondrous, enticing title too ... leading to its promise ...
Loved this.
Perfect poetry ... well done, PK.
Myra
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here you show how well you write very short poems.
The desire as a whisper is such a tender image.
Simply lovely
v^
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Ah, such a miracle when less than 20 words can bring ones lips to form a sigh~
This is exquisite and another to be bookmarked.
Well deserved gold...Congrats, PK...
Lynda
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Wow! You wrote a short poem, but with such good meaning. The metaphor is very effective. You definitely deserve that gold trophy!
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lol i wondered why that did not clap then been here before well it was fine second time round too.
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a good piece, there is an undertone of sensuality here, in between the lines, a whisper of love or want, or both as eyes flower.
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Wow! You have developed the gift of the short poem too! It has become epidemic around here but everyone is producing some stellar pieces!!! You are really a true romantic, by the way, and that in itself is a great gift. I read somewhere that it is easier to write bitterness and harder to write praise, but I think you are the exception.
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ahh, romantic my dear...endearing to women no doubt. Emotions need no words, just a soft touch, an indirect sigh and a moment of still breathing...beautiful write
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This absolutely deserved the gold trophy. I loved the power of the metaphor and the beauty you imprinted on every word. Teach me how to play with words so effectively my friend. I don't do well with 20 words. This was a fantastic piece. It could be one of my favorites of yours actually.
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Pretty. The presence of the comma after the second line makes me feel like "flower light" is a phrase... the punctuation doesn't seem quite right which is a problem in such a short, immediate poem. Otherwise, though, nicely executed.
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This is such an intelligent write . The metaphorical aspect of this piece is really interesting. I can't point out my favorite part because well... I like the whole poem. Sometimes, as they say, less is more. An amazing poem is what we have here- Short and sweet. Cheers and thanks for sharing.
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Lovely... especially the first two lines, just beautiful.
Enjoyed it,
~ wendy
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a good piece to go with the photograph, just had a look at that, difficult sometimes using so few words to show strength.
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AH . . .
pure loveliness!
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wow... we just love it when guys make us feel so precious and beautiful... we think they must truly love us! lol
no really, it's nice how you're showing your appreciation for the female species in such a careful selection of words 
<3 Alex
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aw
I love this and so worthy of your gold! This is beautiful
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So beautiful...I see comparison with a woman and a flower and the freshness of spring. As I anxiously await spring, this was very nice.
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This is just plain beautiful. So pleased to see Gold where it belongs. Well done.
~Pamela
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yo check it petey my main man i likes yo poem so much i be commentin righ now sayin how much i be liken it yo check dat yo
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BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! i loved this.HOW R U? We haven't spoken in a while. Drop me a line sometime. Great piece. - cgirl0410
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Very good indeed, it had perfect balance and is noted from one end to the other with a gradual trail of femininity suggesting a fertility of sorts. Lovely work! Titus
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what a whisper
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Hi, a very lovely short poem, a pleasure to read,Di
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I saw tears and almost fear in this young woman
why? I see it clearly.
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good art does that i think, lets us find many things...thanks for reading and most interesting comment...PK
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This is lovely. I saw autumn in the photo, so I love how you went the opposite direction. Congrats on the gold. Much deserved! I'm adding you to my favorites
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How wonderfully beautiful...excellent metaphor and flow...love it...
Thank you for entering! -
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Thank you Mystic
the photoart was a wonderful inspiration, such beauty and expression; really the photo needed very little...Thank you for your kindness and the honor of the Gold...PK
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This is exceptioanl! I am left speechless! Absolutely beautiful! A winner for sure! I wish you well in the challenge.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Thank you Renee
for your wonderful and generous words... always so uplifting...PK
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Nicely done.
Chelsea
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Thank you Chelsea
a thought it was a great photo ... didn't really need any words...thanks...PK
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"and desire was a flower
light in a woman's eyes,"
this is so beautiful..I love 'an unspoken whisper in waiting' I was reading sayings of Kahlil Gibran the other night, and one was "listen to a woman when she looks at you, not when she is talking to you.", your poem reminded me of that..what a lovely poem! - aM
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Thank you-
for your most welcome warming words, it was a pleasure to write to this inspiration, and a pleasure to read your lovely comments; thank you...PK -
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you're welcome, and congrats on the gold..I'm happy to see this poem won! - aM
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