a dog running after us
earth tunnel unfolds
cold and dark and wet
opening channels
of fear and trust
that the light will once come
a dog running after us barking
'speed up - the time is now!'
to expose
a moment of silence
that brings the star dust
into my hand
expanding the knowledge
unfolding the senses
exploring the depths
to uncover
a lemon tree and
a cat sleeping
on a white step
or was it a bench...
on a street corner
A contest entry
- Making the Idea Personal by bachelorette.
875 points, ended January 20, 11 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Can you feel it?
Comments
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-K
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I really like this piece. I wish it had a few commas here and there to add some structure to the thoughts and phrases; it took me a few reads to sort out when to pause in a couple of places. I definitely like the images. Then being chased by a dog, all the while wanting to focus on still life and thoughts is a wonderful contradiction. It's so like the human race--it's gotten to be such a race. We're so rushed, and us poor poets just want to sit in silence and experience the world around us as everyone keeps telling us "go, go, go." 'Star dust' should be one word. I like the use of 'us' in the first two stanzas, adding to the contradiction with 'us' versus 'me.'
It's very wonderful and makes me think of daydreaming back in high school. I actually think the poem is very dream-like and abstract, itself.
-K
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