'twas grace and rain which washed away,
my sin and sorrow that fateful day.
I turned my face to heaven's sky,
and from my depths there wrenched a cry.
For all the pain I'd ever dealt,
was now the sorrow that I felt.
The words thrown out with aim to sting,
come back again and pain they bring.
For now I've finally truely seen,
all my actions and what they mean.
I need to cleanse my soul of guilt
and all the sadness it has built.
So here I stand in pouring rain
beseeching God, peace to attain.
As I stood so weak and broken
I felt his words though not spoken.
All of my faults were washed away
as I stood in the rain that day.
So now I'm cleansed down deep inside
where the darkness no longer hides.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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very nice
very nice write . . peaceful ending . . liked "'twas grace and rain which washed away, my sin and sorrow that fateful day" . .
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Wonderful
Very creative and well done. Such a terrific expression.
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You did well
You have a flow that make others stop look and think about. I guess I am trying to say you did well...mac
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It´s a wonderful dirge
what I want I really search,
this melody´s like a wild fay that can love and that can hate whole the day and whole the night,
you form new being when you write :-)) Marek -
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thank you for that wonderful comment, I am glad you enjoyed my poem.
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This is like an anthem for all of us, the hope and light at the end of the tunnel as always from you
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thank you for the wonderful comment. I was just trying to show that the negative things we say and do can build up and hurt us, and we need cleansed of that.
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very beautiful penned, with good rhyme and flow. Very inspirational in it's tone and message, a pleasure to read.
Rory
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thank you very much for the wonderful comment. I was just trying to show that the negative things we say and do can hurt us too, and we need cleansed of all of it.
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thank you very much for the wonderful comment.
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some great rhyming.
i loved it -
You are a master at meter and rhyme. I have missed reading you so very much and this morning I needed this one. How we get caught up in our life at times and go through it not thinking of consequience on our final day of judgement. You have brought that to light in this piece and perspective. Thank you for sharing this with us.
If I might give one suggestion for the ending stanza though.
" as I stood in that rain that day." change the first "that" to "the". I think the double use threw me off a bit. Other than that, you have a beautiful gift.
*hug*
Becky*love*
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Excellent Writing
Beautiful poem, encouraging. I can do that, too.
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excellent inspirational write! i like that it is filled with emotion, has a clear message and it rhymes ~something you know i have difficulty with~. thank you for sharing this lovely message of mercy from God. keep writing! God bless you always
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Ah, my favorite topic to write about, God's mercy.
We can only ask for cleansing, we cannot wash ourselves clean. This is beautiful and powerful also, you felt the impact of your sin, felt deep remorse, asked for forgiveness and it was given. Great inspirational write!
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All of my faults were washed away
as I stood in that rain that day.
So now I'm cleansed down deep inside
where the darkness no longer hides.
Wow! This was amazing and truely inspirational. I loved the rhyming. Well done! Keep up the great work! -
wow!!! oh my goodness gracious hon! I love your poetry! you are so talented i just go crazy when I read your stuff! This poem (like all others by you) is amazing. The feeling of rain washing over your body is just a great idea to just imagine!!! *hugs and love*
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This was a very powerful poem, from beginning to the end. My favorite part, was, all of it. very well written.
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A beautiful piece! Wonderfully done using the rain as a metaphor for our cleansing. Such a peacful and uplifting ending.
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This is a lovely poem. I am falling short of words now to describe what exactly i feel. The intensity of the write is really what had a huge impact on me. The images, sounds and the basic feel of the poem is never lost even once during the course of the work.
I loved this part:
"For all the pain I'd ever dealt,
was now the sorrow that I felt.
The words thrown out with aim to sting,
come back again and pain they bring."
Your idea of rain washing away all the sin is also very appealing.
"All of my faults were washed away
as I stood in that rain that day.
So now I'm cleansed down deep inside
where the darkness no longer hides."
Basically, a lovely write. Thanks for sharing. Cheers and hugsss!!!
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I have no religious leaning what so ever This though does not mean that i can not appreciate poetry relating to it This a a very fine piece With great rhyme and flow.To me it shows that conscience plays a big part in our actions sometimes it take a while to realize .But as your poem shows it can be a life changing situation ( hey maybe there is a god)excellent
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