In everything I say,
and everything I do,
if you haven’t already guessed,
I'm always thinking of you.
About what your
reaction may be.
How you might just
use those stars to hug me.
See the thing is,
I then begin to pray,
maybe you'll use the stars,
to kiss me today.
It is those prayers,
that sometimes cause me pain,
but it's all the possibilities,
that keep me somewhat sane.
The possibility that maybe,
"I'm very fond of you"
could possibly mean:
'Em, I love you.'
The possibility that,
it's not your brother typing,
but really you, afraid,
behind his lies you’re hiding.
The possibility that your mom,
'kissed you for me'
because of what her son said.
Then again, I could just be crazy.
Now that's a possibility.
I swear I'm insane.
Crazy for falling for you,
Boy, you're so far away.
Physically at least,
spiritually you're here.
Whenever I need you,
to wipe away tears.
In the depths of my dreams,
you hug away my hurt,
kiss away my pain,
shed light were my demons lurk.
That's why I don't like waking up.
You are not really there.
I begin to think,
life isn't very fair.
But, like I've said before,
even if we part,
no matter what happens,
you are always in my heart.
This is how I feel,
and I hope you can accept,
the leap of faith,
that my heart just leapt.
Author notes
This is another one for Reaper. I wrote this the day before I told him how I felt, some how I think my own words encouraged me...different story for a different time so anyway:
[For Contest:
Option Number Two
and
Alex needs a life]
My grammar and spelling should be fine, I mean I used Word!!
It's just a thing!
PS-this is the full version of the one on my page!!
Originally written--> 13-January-2008
Revised and completed--> 15-January-2008
A contest entry
- You Got Five Choices.. and one chance! :P by GuardianPhoenix7289.
1425 points, ended March 3, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
For A Contest.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A beautiful verse.
Full of the warmth, hope,and fatalistic yearning of the young heart. As I read this verse, a smile spread over my face and it transported me back to my adolesant youth when everything seem, both possible and hopeless at the same time. lovely sentiments and it flowed well too. Well done Emily.
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i miss you jojo! u need to talk to me!!!!
i love you
EmoSe -
I ♥ this piece!! It sounds so much like a song...
Beautiful. -
I think that many people take this leap of faith. Unsure what is waiting on the other side, scared that their prayers maybe unanswered, or perhaps that they don't turn out the way that you had hoped. This really shows how much you care for this Reaper fellow. I am sure that he apperciates this very much. Thanks for sharing.
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There's alot in this poem I really like. It's very emotional and it draws the reader effectively into your feelings, in the repetition of "everything" in the first two lines.
It's also comes across as very true and real, no euphemisms just deeply felt feelings.
I also really like the development between the second, third and fourht stanza. You've observed extremeley well how when we allow ourselves to imagine something we really want to happen we then begin to pray it will, and these prayers lead to pain. It gives the poem a universal appeal because we've all felt that pain at some point I'm sure.
My only slight criticism is the use of short four line stanzas and rhyming pattern throughout the poem can get a little repetitive, but this is only a tiny criticism, and others may disagree.
Overall, it's a good poem and I really liked it.
And thankyou for your comment on my poem it is much appreciated.
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Thank you. This is one of the sweeter comments I've gotten on stuff I've posted. It's very nice of you to return the favor, especially since I kinda half-assed my comment (sorry). :]
About your critque, can you help me revise it?
I'd really appreciate it, 'cause I agree with you.
Please message me :]
Thanks again,
-hk
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wow
this is a really beautiful write!!beautiful imagery and a good rhme sceme...there is a gentle flow in this poem!!i can see that you put lots of heart and soul into this piece.much much love!!
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thanks so much :]
ur words are deeply appreciated
(even if I cant spell XD lol)
-hk
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Love this. love the use of stars to describe emotions and this line particularly:
How you might just
use those stars to hug me.
What a beautiful dreamy image. Great write
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lol I'm glad you think so...
the thing is, it's an online relationship, he lives in the states...it kinda meant you know *hugs* *kisses*
stars: ***
lol
but thank you for the wonderful comment!!!
-hk
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This is such a deep down to earth right from your heart poem! I enjoyed every line sweetie! Great imagery. Love always, Cathy
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Thanks so much for your wonderful words of encouragment. They truely are a blessing!
-+hfg+-
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Very loving indeed....
My *lots of swear-words* ex, could never have written something with this much thought or love in it. Not like she even ever tried! Whilst I was always writing poems for her. -_- Pshhhh.
I really do like this, great flow, you make it a beautiful write with great words and imagery. There is not much I could say other than, at the end, it would be "accept" not "except."
lol
But great job overrall! I really did like this, it flowed, it had some good rhyming or near-rhyming. In general it was just a great write with a great amount of meaning and love in it!
Good luck in this contest my little friend from Germany. ;P You really are more special to me than you'd probably ever think, your writes speak to me, and you are a great loyal reader of mine.
Thanks for coming into my life, even though it may just be on a poetry site.
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ex'es can be *lots of swear words* lol
thanks so much I will change my little grammar mistake.
if i can fall for Reaper on Yahoo Messenger i can make friends on a poetry site :] lol
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