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Whipping Post Diagnosed (advised:cuss word included)

Missing image

 

Don’t hold back on the profanity...
Aromaticity of the inner mind is not a proclivity.

 

It’s hard, really fucking hard to affront me,
Be intrepid and brace my internal high-octane audio CD.

I like things morbid, so don’t be shy,
Eat at my core like a Mediterranean fruit fly.

 

It’s not a must; BUT I like poems that rhyme,
Prime my crime like command processing overhead time.

 

Please please pleazzzzze me, try to confuzzzzzzzze me!
How can you possibly factor my agent frommmmm me?

 

Can a description die without making erroneous assumptions ?
Don’t EVEN think my points came for free!

Don’t let meaning simply pop up like white toast.
Make it foggy like sky from a meteorological observation post.

 

Lastly, what's the reason to live?  Would I lie? 
Misgive, relive, forgive, and in that case, OUTLIVE,
Your enemies,
Of this poem.

Author notes

While I try to stay clear of the F Word, I use it sometimes in daily life, but this, I think, is the first time I used it in a poem.
Written November 11th, 2003

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    October 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, I was being a wise-ass... :-)


  • pulsating
    October 18, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    hahahahahha i am dying at chalk outlines comment there.
    This is very good, but it seems to read a bit more on the
    acerbic side of things. Guess I will have to have a gander
    at what the contest expectations were. Very nicely written.

    Take care.

    Olivia

  • NeferMaatNetjer silver member
    December 1, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    way awesome. you and i think very much the same way on a lot of things.


  • November 21, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Hehe. You are definitely having a good old swipe at various 'poetic' conventions here, I think. Either that, or you truly meant "aromaticity of the inner mind is not a proclivity". Hehe. Aromaticity indeed. And Pleazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzze never let it be said I haven't earned my points.

    Heh. Well, I haven't read you before but I shall. I feel ever so slightly on the outside of a (maybe) funny joke.

  • oneluckygirl
    November 21, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I've been returning for three days now and I must say, ET, you DO make me work!


  • Judas Denied
    November 18, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Maybe it is just me, but I found this to be a bit snide. And I mean that as a compliment. Some of us do actually catch on, others, well, apparently don't. Or if they do, they don't say anything. I commend your clever line work here.


  • Madison Attitude
    November 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats! Great job!

  • Cosmopolitan
    November 15, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written.
    Very forceful and brutally honest.
    I like it.


  • Redstormy gold member
    November 12, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Wow your work has taken an interesting turn recently my friend. Love the imagery and honesty in this write.

    Red


  • Blondita
    November 11, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Right , I have my cup of tea and twenty fags ( ciggies , don't be alarmed ) - and am comfortable !! I also have my dictionary , thesaurus and encyclopaedia handy lol......

    and....none of them are helping me here....

    On a more serious note ET , there appears to be an overbearing cynicism in this , bursting with sarcasm...the only clue I get is in the last stanza...( as regards the content of )...my IQ must be dwindling rather seriously...

    Excellent write - but I'd be lying if I knew what it was about in its entirety !!!

    ~ sonia ~ on with the revolution !!


  • Dizzy Juggalette
    November 11, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    holy shit this is ecactly what i wanted. thanks so much enigma tic! you nailed jesus to his cross!! (sorry if that offends you) but this is dead on. thanks for entering and good luck.
    Dizzy

1 - 11 of 11