I've Got To Get Away

I cannot talk about it,
without becoming furious.
I cannot think about it,
without wanting to cry.
I cannot attempt to breathe,
when I know it's under my skin.
All I know, is I've got to get away.

These demons, they consume me
little by little each day.
And every night, they torment me,
preparing me for another worthless day.
These thoughts I cannot escape,
because they are my life.
The only thing I know is destroying me.

Do you realize the pain that you've caused me?
Do you know what you're doing to your little girl?
Those nights I've spent awake screaming inside,
because I cannot get through to you how I feel?
Do you even give a shit about your family?
I guess not. That's why we bleed.

The hurt is turning into hating.
The blood is turning into water.
The laughter is turning sinister.
And I just don't give a fuck anymore.
I'm about to lose control altogether,
bleed like I've never bled before,
possibly even kill.

But you wouldn't care, would you?
You'd just sit there in your fat, red recliner
and watch the days of TV pass you by.
Shouting and swearing at us for reasons
we don't understand.
Nor will we ever, because you lack respect
for us, for others, for yourself.

Degrading us, belittling us, treating us worse than shit.
I don't understand why you're like this.
We did nothing wrong to you, and yet you hate us.
If everything in this house belongs to you, then fix it.
Fix the lies, the broken promises, the fence, the back door, the tap,
fix everything in this godforsaken house!
You act like kicking me out is some form of punishment!

I've got to get away.
Away from the broken promises,
away from the lies, away from the abuse.
Away from the blame, the embarassment of calling you "dad,"
away from a life that no one should have to live.
Don't worry, "dad," this is the last time you'll make me cry.
I promise.