All is silent, all is still,
Met with indecisive will.
Should I go the way I came
Or keep going on the same?
Little rustle in the trees.
Heart beats faster. Just the breeze.
I keep walking and the sound
Of the patter echos 'round.
Did you hear that? Is it me?
Is it my insanity?
All is frozen. All is dead.
Is it all inside my head?
Hear the patter on the stone?
It's a step beside my own.
Walking faster, looking back,
But there's nothing but my track.
Still I hear it. Yes I hear it,
And my God. My God! I fear it.
Branches crackle, body freezes.
I can't hear! The howling breezes
Block the sound of that sick patter.
Am I done for? Does it matter?
Then it's silent. All is still.
Met with indecisive will.
Should I go the way I came
Or keep going on the same?
Author notes
Featured at: http://blogcentral.thereporter.com/planet/
Declined for publication by 32 Poems
Won Bronze in the following contest, http://allpoetry.com/contest/2393615
A contest entry
- 155th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended January 17, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme. Bring in your masterpieces! by Never Fall in Love.
1300 points, ended July 27, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's All About the Rhyme by BlackSwan.
600 points, ended July 27, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For my Favs Or Those Who have me as a Fav by ourgirlFriday.
1200 points, ended August 5, 2008, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Damn! I tried very hard to find a break in your meter. This darn poem is perfect and in my opinion; world class. Bravo!
Love,
Amera♥
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You did well. I like it. trekkergirl
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Pretty Pic, Lovely Write
The pic reminds me of our winter vacations in Montana;
the poem reminds me of our house at night....
Still, I like both together all the same.
Wonderful poem!
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BANDITS UNITED!
A well written and poetic poem, I could keep on reading it over and over, and think you should get it published...
This wonderful piece has a fast pace to it when read aloud, I think it's because the reader wants her to hurry, and feels the anguish, it sent shivers down my spine...I loved the last two lines bringing her back to square one, and can imagine her fear starting all over again...good simple rhyming and ocasional aliteration helps the flow of this poem...my overall impression is IMPRESSIVE!
Congratulations on being awarded the gold!
Much love ~Lilac
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Bandits United
I think the picture is gorgeous of a perfect winter day with all the snow on the trees. Congrats on the golden trophy. -
i really like the cadence and rythem (yeah i can't spell
)
i love the suspense and paranoia that you have written about.
great poem and congratulations on the gold!
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Bandits United!!
Oy~ Sorry I am late but wanted to be sure and stop by
Wonderful imagery and rhyme~
also the questions posed within Your piece
You have brought forth much to think about~
I keep walking and the sound
Of the patter echos 'round.
Did you hear that? Is it me?
Is it my insanity?
These lines grab~ takes the reader there
Congratulations on Your Trophy win!
-Throws confetti-
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooo
Keep that quill dancing~~
Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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B.U.
Great rhythm and hypnotic flow. You've really careful chosen your words to create a natural, sharp cadence- and the pace of the poem matches up as the emotionality/paranoia of the author does.
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BANDITS UNITED!!!!!!!!!!
well done my friend the emotion imagery and flow all come together to make this a marvelous poem...well done.
May the stars light your path.
DarkWind
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BANDITS UNITED YAY!
Your rhyming couplets made my heart glad because it's one of my favorite rhyme schemes.
A poem that somehow reminds me of Robert Frost. Lovely writing and the winter theme is beautiful and dramatic.
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BANDITS UNITED !
Excellent, suspenseful poem, the focus is intense and and the feelings are well conveyed. You have crafted a very nice poem here. Congrats on the Gold Trophy!
You have been put in the Spotlight today by your Bandit family because WE CARE!
Bandits Rock!
Dennis
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BANDITS UNITED!!!
A well deserved Gold you wrote here, what a joyfull piece to read. Kept my attention from the first word to the last. You made my day a bit more happier than it already was.
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Bandits United
Cheers to the gold trophy and to the masterpiece you have drawn It's gorgeous. Makes my imagination run along with your lines. It's massive! And so beautifully done. Love it!
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Bandit United!
Well I think this is amazingly vivid and it really draws your reader into your psyche as you walk along the frozen road. I got the shivers just reading it, and it's a balmy 24 degrees C here today!
A snow-covered landscape is notoriously silent, so even the slightest sound can be very eerie indeed. I loved this! Excellently penned. Well done.
No wonder you won the Gold trophy, dear Poet!
Bravo!
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Bandits United!
Amazing write I love the picture too! Such vivid imagery and emotion throughout. I so enjoyed reading this evening You are such a talented writer, you never seem to stop amazing me with your beautiful words. I hope you have enjoyed your day in the spotlight sorry I am late. Theresa
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Bandits United
This is your day in the spotlight - Enjoy. Feels good to get so many comments on our poetry - liked this picture and the interpretation you wrote for it - good flow and an interesting ending - we will second guess the choice we make, no matter what.
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BANDITS UNITED
This is so expressive and the wonderful picture sets the lovely eerie tone. good flow and rhyme, a most enjoyable poem, and congrats, a worthy win.
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Bandits United!
Ohhhhh....The best poem I've read in ages. Sooooo good. Words escape me in praise of this piece you have penned. Just now that I love it with a passion.
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Bandits United!
A Brilliant Piece! with amazing imagery, even without the picture it would be great. wonderful rhyme and rhythm. Excellent! A much enjoyable read.
Love & Light
Debbera
Enjoy your day in the spotlight!
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Bandits United!
OH, this was truly lovely! Worth Platinum!!!!!
loved the melodic tone of the rhyme and the pictures it painted.
Branches crackle, body freezes.
I can't hear! The howling breezes
yeah, that is all very nice
Len
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BANDITS UNITED!
I heartily agree with the previous commentator. This poem truly emulates the naturalist aspect of Frosts work with the eerie, while at the same time sort of sing-song-ish, rhythm characteristic of Poe's work (the most popular of which, of course, being The Raven). As a die-hard fan of both of these poets, this poem was a real pleasure for me to read. Congrats on the gold. It was well deserved.
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Wow, thank you! That is truly a complimented as they are definently two of my favorite poets!
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Bandits United!
I really like this, it starts out as Robert Frost, has Edgar Allen Poe in the middle, and returns to Frost at the end... well created, beautiful rhyme and rhythm I enjoyed the read!
Keep writing
Polly
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Thank you! I am honored. Frost and Poe are two of my favorites!
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BANDITS UNITED
Beautiful and wonderfully written piece of poetic artistry my friend. It was a real joy and pleasure to read.
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BANDITS UNITED!
I love the even meter and rhyme of this piece, and your imagery is excellent. The beauty of the scene is offset by the sinister quality of the unknown . . . it serves to make it all the more eerie. Except for the spookiness, it almost reminded me of a Robert Frost poem.
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BANDITS UNITED!
This is great a truly clever write....reminds me of a rhyme I can't put my finger on...something about a man going up the stairs and meeting himself halfway...
Great write poet...
Simon
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Whisking this poem of wintertime wonderment to Poetry Planet! Thank you!
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An amazing poem that sweeps the reader along the path with you, seeing all that you saw and holding your hand tightly. BRAVO, fine poet! I would love to feature this poem on the poetry blog I run for a newspaper in California. It is blogcentral.thereporter.com/planet
AND of course your name and copyright would be on the poem. May I?? 
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Actually, on second thought, shouldn't that read "Is it all inside MY head"?
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Fantastic! Incredible! Genius!
I don't know what else to say. I mean, I've read poems I enjoy, and then I've read poems that sparkle with genius in that perfect- I mean have that touch that presents them as- It's like they were written by the great- Ah forget it!
So. 'bout this 'ere poem. It has a great rhythm in the way the lines are short and quick. Like how the line "Heart beats faster. Just the breeze." shows how from one moment to the next fear can surge and subside. Another thing, I liked how the lines
"Is it my insanity?
All is frozen. All is dead.
Is it all inside head?"
bounce between Is it- All is- All is- Is it-. It just has a great feel to it. My one crit is the line
"But there's nothing but my track." sounds repetitive with the use of "but". Perhaps "yet" would sound better?
Finally, it sounds great with the ending repeating the beginning, I allus loved it when poems do this well. It puts a great balance on the poem.
Keep'tup the excellent work! ~SI +=}=========*
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Brilliant!
Oh, this is brilliant, a real tour de force! I loved it, loved it, absolutely loved it... BRAVO....!!! Bravo.... Bravo!!
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Nicely done. It had a tiny bit of Frost in it.
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This is such a great take on the prompt. I sense a prize headed your way for this one!!! Cathy
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This is a fantastic poem, i love the rhyming scheme and the brilliant vivid imagery in this piece. The words really enhanced the feel of the picture and gave it an almost haunting tone which I loved. Brilliant.
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Thank you for this gorgeous fresh entry. I can't even say how much I enjoyed this... it's one of those writes that make you wish you wrote. I loved it. The rhyming was simple but elegant, but like Frost's style. Thank you again for entering and good luck.
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Oh absolutely beautiful! This was such an awesome piece of poetry, you have really outdone yourself this time. Great job!!
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