Thunder crashes around me
the wind rips at my soul
I move not an inch
and yet it carries me
Around the world and back again
in the blink of an eye
I do not know why
I can hear Death spreading its wings
A swan song rings in my ears and mind
it turns into a scream
and then another
And then I hear a thousand screams
A thousand voices cry out in pain and agony
I pity them
But then I realize that they are all mine
and the one who is screaming is me
I can hear my voice dying a thousand deaths
Each one as unique and painful as the last
Like some kind of Hell
All of this in a lightning flash
It blinds me
Pupils close to a pinpoint
I see nothing
I hear nothing
Yet I can feel
Then the rain comes
and with it a beautiful chaos
that comes to wash away the sins
of those that came before me
And me
It melts me away from this place
Away from that Hell
Away from myself
Every drop is an angel's kiss
that was ment for me
Each kiss touching my being
And as the flood washes over me
I sail away far from this place
An old man is at the helm
on a ship made of ice and promises
He is me
and yet we do not know eachother
We are strangers
He tells me that the compass points to Heaven
The wind stops and we move forward
Sailing towards a dream of birth
Infront of me the world turns Blue
and I can smell purple...
It smells like my new Home
A contest entry
- PRE-WRITES GALLORE ~!~!~! by Naridill.
800 points, ended January 31, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want a lot of poems... by love my jose luis.
900 points, ended February 21, 2008, 125 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn those greenies into Gold (or silver or bronze) pt 4 by whispernthedark.
400 points, ended September 6, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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You've got good imagery here, an interesting view. You have one small typo, you have ment instead of meant. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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So much imagery so much feeling, I love it. Great job on this piece, "I can smell purple" it's original, I really like it, great job on this piece, good luck in my contest.
~Maria -
Very nicely penned - the wording and phrasing is beautiful. Love the intense feeling around this piece.
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Wow!
This is such an intense poem that send shivers down my spine when I read it! I love the powerful words that you used that make me "feel" the poem. I also really liked the way you capitalized "Death", "Hell", and so on. It makes the piece so much more realistic. The only thing that I saw that needed to be corrected was in the 33 line, it should be "angel's kiss" not "angels kiss." But other than that, I cannot say how much I love this piece. A very good write! Keep up the awesome job!
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Thank you very much for the wonderful comment!
I am glad you enjoyed it so much. And thank you for pointing out the 'angel's kiss'. I completely missed that before I sumbmited it.
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