Be condensending,
a child does not deserve
the respect a stranger does,
nor the same level
of protection from violence.
Hide from them adult themes,
they are old enough to play
at destroying life
but not old enough to know
how it is created.
Lying is preferable,
building up a fantasy
to destory
will make the truth
less painful.
Hide them from painful
reality,
knowing it exists
will make it happen to them.
Knowledge is weakness.
Teach them of Santa,
it is important they know
it is ok
for old men to sneak into their rooms
while they lie a bed.
And most importantly
keep it simple,
you do them no favours by teaching them
what they need to know
for the future.
Author notes
Option 2
I know its a bit sarcastic, but I find they way we talk to children laughable at time. The reference in the first verse might not apply in your country, but in my country we just got a no smacking law (which means now defenseless children get the same protection from your hand as a big buff guy on the street) and a lot of people seem to think its unfair they can longer bruise their children to decipline them (to save them from danger it is still ok, and non bruising hits also) which I think is weird personally, surely children deserve more protection than adults for violence but whatever.
A contest entry
- anything goes, options, a prompt and a picture by my1lovewearsdiapers.
400 points, ended January 19, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - no imagery(o.k. some imagery~ 2 lines max), just a poem of pure thought. any subject. prewrites are allowed. by wendymolly.
520 points, ended March 2, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Improvements?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I agree whole heartedly with your author's notes and these thoughts in prose really backs that up a 100%! Your a finalist! Tandy.
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Ha, maybe America should be like like your explanation in your notes. I loved this poem, especially seeing as I enjoy sarcastic, sattiral stuff. Love the title, that's funny. I think you forgot the apostrophe in "Idiot's".
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Thanks for that, I am hopeless at grammer and stuff, I'm so happy when people help me with it.
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Wow. I love the sarcastic tone to this, and I couldn't agree more. I find that we treat our children rather poorly... I mean, we don't think much before we do things "because it's done". Stylistically, these lines
"Hide from them adult themes,
they are old enough to play
at destroying life"
sound pretty oddly phrased to me, though I do know what you mean. Perhaps if they were a bit clearer they would flow better. Also, you seem to have used some word derived from "destruct" twice. In the forth stanza I think you mistyped "a" instead of "in".
I feel that poetic devices wise this poem could be more unique, but I truly like the clarity and power of the message and the ironic tone you use. This is clever and something that needs to be understood.
~Diana
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You seriously have written the best comment I have ever recieved. That is supposed to be a complement and not a sad reflection on most comments I recieve.
Thank you very much!
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Haha. I loved the sarcasim in this piece. Now that is my kind of humor. Anyway, great write and I loved it. ^.^
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lol
i loved it, i especially loved the part about santa it made me laugh. but im a little confused on ur whole view on it all. still its a good write
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this is a little strange and off beat and we have child abuse laws i dont like the part about santa because here well at least in my family we teach that santa talks with the parents all year and then when they go to sleep santa brings their gifts into the livingroom. i didnt enjoy this write but that is because of personal veiws but thank you for entering
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Fair enough, not controversy has never a particularly strong point of mine. I put in the santa bit because a friend of mine was so freaked when her parents told about santa that she refused to go into her room until they told her he wasn't real, she was four at the time.
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