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Dance amongst the shadows

We'll dance amongst this unknown dark

The night sky burning

Fear for our lives ignites a spark

Your in my arms

Our love this courage cloaked in fear, yet our love we dear

We'll kiss until our lives, ware and fade out. 

 

And the night sky burns red

And the night sky burns red

Your still in my arms, this gentlest touch

This forbidden love, we embrace and fall down 

And the night sky burns red

And the night sky burns red

 

We dance amongst this unknown dark,

Our shadows entwine hour by hour

 

We dance amongst this unknown dark

Our shadows entwine hour by hour

We are left to fall

Fall down, no escape from this

Darkness all around

 

Fear for our lives ignites a spark

Your in my arms

And the night sky burns red

And the night sky burns red

 

Both our faces consumed by this dark

Only our feelings keeping us here 

Author notes

“I’m 25 or under”

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 61 of 61

  • juggalette143
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    thanx

    thanx i wrote that a couple months before my mom passed away and that really did happen i was rushed to the hospital but im ok now and i have alot more poems but idk if i should put them on here if u think i should just message me back


  • UnHoLy-VeNgEaNcE
    October 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    amazingly awesome!!!!!!


  • Fallen Ones Soul
    September 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    omfg i love it


  • Hinata
    August 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is really awesome!

  • saretyuiop
    July 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful....


  • Poetic Obscenity
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    As I have stated previously... -melts- =]
    This is very well written and knowing you play guitar, i can hear you strumming away with this. It'd make an amazing monster ballad.
    I love how the repetitive sentences just make it all whole.
    Great write.
    <3
    ~IvoRy

    E~ Fixed Typo


  • ScissorhandHugs
    May 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    truly lovely poem


  • Snap.Crackle.Pop
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought that this poem was beautiful! and i think that you deserved to win the contest . you are a truly excellent writer! ummm.... i dont think that i would changer one part of this. Keep up the great work!!!!!!!! EXCELLENT WRITE

  • EternallyEternity
    April 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautiful. i love how it conveys a sort of feeling that love alone can hold on. everyone should be able to have a love like that, if only just once. keep up the good wor


  • word20dragon
    April 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write

    I am glad I marked you as one of my favorites your writes grab the darkside of me. I hope you keep writing keep it compiel it then publish it. If you can't find a band or form a band do poetry readings.
    If you can't do a poetry reading anywhere get a vidio camera and act it out if you want I could write you a script for one of your poems and you could try acting it out then put it on vidio


  • xxteardropsofjoyxx
    March 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is amazing but I did mean for u to almost cry


  • Short but cute
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic! I love it! Your words just captivate me.

  • xRazorBladeRomancex
    March 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Again amazing!!!!! great write I love it...


  • storiesuntold gold member
    March 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting write

    Such deep thought on this one


  • XxTwigxX
    March 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    W, that was amazing. I wish I had a love like that. <3
    Awsomeness

    XxTwigxX


  • Wall Door Salad
    March 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very deep poem. R u one of these people that bleeds profusely 4 those u love?


  • Headx1stForHalos
    March 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i seriously think im sddicted to your writing...
    i wish i could write as good as you


  • x.burning.desire.x
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great piece, really dark! I do not like the repetitiveness of "And the night sky burns red." There's too much of it. Other then that, amazing piece .. keep writting!


  • LucifersWickedAngel
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    dark and twisted i love it ^//^

  • X-Escape Artist-X
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    again love this poem. U have a talent. And im glad to see ur sharing it with everyone


  • XScreamMeALoveSongx
    February 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is awesome^^
    xxxxx


  • forevermyangel14
    February 11, 2008

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    wow. this is really amazing..i dont know what else to say. nicee


  • MidnightSunshine
    January 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like it.
    It seemed very passionate and absorbing.
    -sammee

  • Rozitah
    January 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you write really well


  • SchizoChic
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really love forbidden love, but then again I like all things forbidden. Much luck to you. Thanks for entering.


  • Times Change
    January 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    omg dave that was beautiful
    it was amzing i think the best u've ever written


  • BrokenWings...Fly
    January 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ... wow.... -thinks hard for something to say- .... beautiful write, bestest buddy! (yaoi fan... hahahaha kiddn )


    • Lost Emo
      January 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i'm not a yaoi fan grrr. btw thxs for the comment


  • new light
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is another amazing write.

    i love these lines especially:

    "Both our faces consumed by this dark
    Only our feelings keeping us here"

    ^^these really make a good ending to this lovely poem.

    GREAT JOB


  • HollowAngel
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is awsome, I really like how it flows together, ver nice job My favorite part is "Your still in my arms, this gentlest touch
    This forbidden love, we embrace and fall down" Very cool.


  • beautifull-ugly228
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i LOVED IT IT WAS SO STRONG AND AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL!! iTS SUCH A good grip on well idk it just feels like its explaining something!! :}]


  • XxTearsHaveFallenxX
    January 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this was so beautiful i loved it, good poem see yea.


  • Blissfullhatred silver member
    January 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'll dance with you dave!!!

1 - 61 of 61