What are you doing here?
Little girl in that darling blue dress
There is no place for pretty little innocence in my alley way.
This is where the villainous villains come out to play.
In the cover of this dank dirty darkness they hide
Because they know that there are no rules here to abide
What have you got there?
Little girl in that darling blue dress
There, nestled in the crook of your creeping stance
I thought it a mere mass of little garb but on second glance...
If not mine eyes playing ponderous little tricks
Me thinks it moved, or rather...delivered a bundle of brutal little kicks
Ah, I see,
Little girl in that darling blue dress
Indeed, no ignorant innocence is ever caught here
I know the dungy deed you will commit my little dear.
Carrying your little youth to hands both cold and clammy
So your dear mother wont know she's a darling granny.
What's that I see?
Little girl in that darling blue dress
As you catch me watching your surly shameful sin
Is that a tyrannous tear I do spy drip down your little chin?
O, do not drip that devilish dirty here helpless little girl
For what would I do with that utterly useless little pearl
Now see here,
Little girl in that darling blue dress,
You haven't acted according to your age in quite a while
What? Is being an innocent little girl a little out of style?
Well here's a little intriguing information I think would apply
You know big bold girls, they do not cry.
A contest entry
- Deeply Disturb Me by xxRainbowDawnxx.
450 points, ended January 20, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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It's such a shame really kids are getting pregnant so young. I could almost imagine a gangster or such speaking to this child, or a filthy 40 year old who likes fucking random things and is deprived in general.
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I really liked it. Deep and thought provoking. Heart wrenching and a bit too realistic to the point where it is almost frightening. I loved it though. It really shows your talent and your ability to be conventional with your poetry in a way so many others fail to do so now a days. Not too many cliche lines were in the mix, making it much more effective to read than most. I'm glad I read this honestly.
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Scary......and so real.Its the kind of poem that a mother would hate.Everyone never wants to think of the real happenings when their little girls are involved.
This was such an eye opener.
And I liked the background too.
You added a beat to the poem that stands out with your repetition, great poetic mastery and generally, a well penned piece.
Brownies for u!
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Dark and worrisome. The narrator comes on as caring, then subtly shifts to a more Machiavellian stance as the story unfolds. My favourite line is /For what would I do with that utterly useless little pearl/ because it takes me straight to Joni Mitchell, Why'd You Do It? The poem reads a lot like a song, with the repetition of lines almost a chorus. Striking, but I'm not sure I like it.
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Little girl in that darling blue dress I felt was repeated way too much...distracted one from the read...other than that the piece was fairly interesting.. this line I didn't much care for..O, do not drip that devilish dirty here helpless little girl
the whole devilish dirty just threw that stanza off..enjoyable read tho..fairly well penned...thanx for sharing. -
Oh yeah
..she is not turning tricksis seh?
She is abandoning a child, her child, in the alleyway,isn't she? -
OK, if what is going on is what I think is going on, thats pretty brutal!
I like how you wrote the narrator as almost sounding like the devil, with his mocking tone and questions.
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Man this is dark,, very dark... In fact, this could be one of the most surreal emotional writes I've seen in a while. Sounds very much like a song. The conten id very clearly given in story book fashion, toiching on the innocence of child, both wearing the dress and not wearing it to complete the outcome of the bundle.
An interesting view on childhood motherhood, the scares and fears it could bring about.
The style used with repetitive lines in each stanza adds a certain cleverness to the continuation. well done.
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Wow! this is one of the best that I have ever read. Puts alot of my work to shame. I was very touched by this poem and after this, i plan on reading many more. Great write and very moving. Keep up the great work!
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