Oh God
though I was the one single man
but along bounteous hidden men inside me
one day an ill-suited man and a serpentine man inside me
took over the administration
battling with one another for the one man leadership
you expected me to stop this battle
while erasing them in the darkness
though I could not witnessed these men
still as instructed by you ,I hanged them
convincing myself when
I submitted my gratitude to you for showing me the path
I could not locate you
while you were inhabiting in me
Oh God....
Author notes
prompt.
"One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced each other,
Drew their swords, and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
Came and killed those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man, because he saw it too."
A contest entry
- Crazy Poem Prompt by Riftkin.
525 points, ended January 17, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GIVE US YOUR BURDEN! by Spiritual Nature.
1800 points, ended January 27, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spiritual Poetry by Snow-Flake.
300 points, ended January 26, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abstract PW allowed by BigE.
400 points, ended February 16, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Good job on this unusual prompt. Thanks for entereing. Blessings, Doris
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At first I found the poem but confusing but as I reread it (and saw the prompt for it) it made sense. I like your take on the prompt and how you tied in the spiritual aspect. Well done.
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You've done a great job with the prompt. I can never create anything from word prompt like that...very well penned. Good luck with it. Love the pic to!
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woderfully written
i love it -
Loved your take on this silly poem. Thank you for writing for my contest. Riftkin
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The prompt was a poem we used to chant as we jumped rope in the schoolyard as children do...Your words confused me at first reading until I read the prompt, and then I realized you have written a piece showing the same thing in a spiritual vein...a play on words, but ending in the same way...a blind man who Sees...Very cool. Peace and good luck in the contest. Rhonda
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That's a very unique take on the prompt. It reads so smooth, but has layers of meaning inside. Congrats and best regards.
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another fascinating take on the quote, to turn this into an inner battle with ones ego selves is masterful. The final victory where you are judge, jury and executioner for God is a wonderful example of self examination
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Wow!!
This is one deep piece You have penned my Friend!
I just wanted to cry
Powerful images brought forth~~
I could not locate you
while you were inhabiting in me
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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