Yes,
Spin her, twirl her around,
Flaunt her to your companions.
The verdant monster fully awakening,
Abound with covetousness,
Overpowering their eyes with a invidious envy,
Compelling silent fulminations,
Blinding them, ignorant to her torment
As her perfect lithe form traces the air.
You can feel their stares, so scouring,
You revel in them,
In these feelings of self worth and accomplishment,
As you stare at her, flipping through the pages of her emotions.
Yes,
Have her pirouette, gyrate,
For your acquaintances,
For yourself really.
Ignore that blatant fear,
The discomposure palpable in her eyes,
Her eye, the lone remaining.
Ignore the indisputable way she begs you
Reticently, yet bounteously,
To let her stop, to let her go, to let her free.
She knows her prayer will go unanswered,
Clinging to that inkling of hope
That was never there to begin with.
Yes,
Have her disrobe, divest,
Sin sparkling in your clouded orbs,
For your adversaries are long gone.
Feel her form slump,
Frail body slightly shaking in the presence of needy gropes.
Her lips are pressed together, tightly,
Stitched in silence.
Her fragile arms and legs ascertained to never resist
The hard way, as is proof on her mutilated limbs.
Onyx eyes remaining passive, unfluctuating,
As your claws rip her ostentatious garments to pieces,
The fight has died in her soul.
She remains still,
Forever and for always
Your doll.
Author notes
Picture Prompt~
http://misericordia.deviantart.com/art/The-Horror-of-Beauty-17496497
Hope I did the picture justice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE BEST YOU CAN DO!-
Option 3: Dark
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Year Here-Options
BarbedWireShield
Dak- Option 4: Abuse
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A contest entry
- Fantasy/Horror Prompts by Polaja.
1750 points, ended February 21, 2008, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything 20 entries, prewrites excepted by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended January 28, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE BEST YOU CAN DO! please enter... :) by LilMrsAttitude.
1600 points, ended March 30, 2008, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Justice? You have surpassed the gritty little picture... and created a poem of worthier proportions. This poem is far more beautiful than the image that prompted it... Congrats. on the HM!
-
The repitition of the word 'yes' to begin the stanzas was amazingly effective in producing the tone of the poem to be slightly patronizing and kind of mocking... I really enjoyed the way this is written, the language you use is wonderful, and you don't use it in an arrogant 'thesaurus hunter' kind of way
you certainly did the picture justice! The only thing that I can think of to suggest is the line 'The hard way, as is proof on her mutilated limbs' didn't really sit right with me... it might just be my preference, but maybe a different word order - or changing the 'on' to 'of' would help it along (just my opinion though 
) apart from that this was a wonderful write!
Keep writing
Polly
-
As far as I've seen, this is one of the best pieces of work so far in my contest. Granted there are a lot of well-written pieces, but CUDOS to you on one of the best!
~*DJ*~
Thank you for entering my contest & good luck. -
Whoa.... Your words are like nails, pounding into the stomach. Your write here is sharp and intense. Me like, me like!
Thanks for sharing & entering your write in A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
-
'Yes,
Have her disrobe, divest,
Sin sparkling in your clouded orbs,
For your adversaries are long gone.
Feel her form slump," Great lines, it has alot of emotion in it i like how you finish this piece as well, thanks for your entry -
Wow... This is creepy. I'm glad the link to the picture wouldn't open... I'm not sure I wanted to see it. You did a great job, this is going to haunt me for a while...
-
-
That is basically the desired effect
. The picture is actually quite pretty, but since it was a horror/fantasy prompt, I decided to make it a bit more twisted. thanks for the feed back <3.
-
-
This is a fabtastic piece, you really did the picture justice. Best of luck in the contest with it
-
This was a rather long poem and most of the time i loose intreat in these types but yay i didn't. It was excelent!
My favortites
Yes,
Have her disrobe, divest,
A sin sparkling in your clouded orbs,
For your adversaries are long gone.
Feel her form slump,
The fight has died in her soul.
She remains still,
Forever and for always
Your doll.
good job! -
-
Hehe, thanks Ru
Gad you didn't lose interest xD
thanks for commenting
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
