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Paradise Unattainable

Divulging into waters; into a great unknown

I dip my paws into fantasies untold

Ideas into my mind have been cloned

What was one is now many; behold

 

Soon, I step into the river as far as it warrents

Magnetically pulled to depths unspoken

My head pulled beneath the cascading torrents

Airless abyss and a small token

 

This place is amazing, nothing and everything

Undescribable, unexplainable

The depths of unfathomable waters, where the mermaids sing

I never got there though, it so far down; a paradise unattainable

 

 

Author notes

I used the picture with the tiger in it. Lol. Have fun. Here's the link to the pic. http://s135.photobucket.com/mediadetail/?media=http%3A%2F%2Fi135.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fq139%2Fbmengstrom%2Ftiger.jpg&searchTerm=tiger&pageOffset=19

A contest entry

Comment honestly please. But don't be rude. CONSTRUCTIVE CRISTISM is welcome. But don't bash me; I work hard.

    : , Your review:

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • peridotPixi
    July 10, 2008

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    I really love this poem, i love the feelings you have put into this beautiful paradise unattainable i like the detils you have used, Im happy to have opened this contests for PW so that i was able to have the oppertunity to read such a wonderful write, thank you for the entry and as always keep up the wonderful writing, ~Amy


  • Charley-
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello there and thanks for entering the contest i thought your piece was really good and a very good read too.Thanks again for entering and best of luck


  • Naridill
    January 13, 2008

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    Very descriptive piece. I feel the wording and imagery would settle better with more hidden and abstract phrasing.

    Thanks for entering.


  • neoladyem
    January 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great. I love the rhyme scheme in this poem. The creative description was also well done. Mt favorite lines were:
    Ideas into my mind have been cloned
    What was one is now many; behold

1 - 5 of 5