The fresh cool feel of the morning's dew upon this grassy hill,
Early birds call the sun awake,
I can taste the earth in the air...
I stand to my feet and remember,
Freshly turned sod upon the wind.
Gentle rain gracing the envious forest leaves,
Good Scottish weather,
Come with me to the hills,
We'll gather heather and monkshood where old circles run,
The freedom of the game trodden path,
Foot where hoof did only a moment afore pass,
A faun and a doe
eyes gently resting upon the grasses here,
and there
A calm and nourishing sustenance,
we shall not partake.
Hjortenberry upon raindropped stem,
A ripe easy taste,
A small portal to breathe a cold mountain spring,
From which must have come this gentle flow below,
Watch as it wills to wander down mighty ridge into dale,
Hale in this persevering light,
Down into the valley we'll go tonight
to spend a time together next to that small stream,
Where the brush runs around that small rise of green,
Forest grasses running in an old circle
paths once trodden by tiny feet...
Please,
Do not close those eyes,
Through rain and over hill we've dreamed,
A cool spring giving birth to gentle mountain stream,
Now to rest upon such a rich a righteous rise,
Righteous in that this moment under star alights,
Illuminating the darkness
windows to heaven
Your beautiful eyes.
Don't sleep,
I fear that you'll wake,
Don't leave me now,
But if you must leave,
Leave for my sake...
And I will sit on this lonely Scottish hill above cool valley stream,
Remembering raindropped hjortenberry
the smell of the earth
good Scottish weather
heather and monkshood
faun and doe...
Gentle whispers of a clever smile and an enchanting laughter...
...you go, I'll stay...
Sincerely,
*****
-the man waiting for you in your dreams-
Author notes
Fun to write considering my heritage and fascination with dreams...
A contest entry
- NO RULES ONLY THE SICKEST 1449 points!!!NOW enter your freakin prewrites by RyanosaurusWrecks.
1449 points, ended January 14, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come Celebrate the New Year of 2008 with a contest of Creative Ideas by earthstar.
550 points, ended January 21, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Images of Nature by apoeticinjustice.
900 points, ended February 7, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest - round 1 by serenity silvermoon.
929 points, ended October 12, 461 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!! Emotion please!! by Graciee.
550 points, ended November 24, 203 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Respect is asked for, given and understood... :)
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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with the very first line I was captivated. Just something about morning dew ...
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So lovely but don't go picking monkshood, it is poisonous. The mountains, the valleys and the beautiful misty lochs, Scotland, an ancient proud beauty.
Sheila
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Awesome! A beautiful penning rich with nature's bounty and filled to the brim with vivid imagery. Love it!
Rory
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I am left speechless. This is beautiful. I can smell the fresh turned sod and feel the dampness ... wonderful job you've done. thank you for entering
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this is amazing the imagery was insane best of luck and thanx forentering
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Aww
This was just absolutely beautiful..
Left me pretty much speechless
your imagery & expression were just gorgeous &
so much meaning packed within your words.
Excellent write!
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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Spectacular opening. I could feel the chill warmth of the morning sun. By the time you've written "Good Scottish weather," it feels so comfortable, as if it's my home, as well.
It's so tempting yet completely innocent. It makes me miss this place I've never been, wish for these grassy hills I've never seen.
It's a distant kind of sad, but happy, too, that these things will never be truly gone.
Well done, my friend.
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I LOVE THIS!! It is simply beauliful.
Thanks for entering!
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I decided to post every ones scores so here's yours! based on every ones votes!
1 gold 0 silver 1 bronze 2 hm 2
Jessa♥
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4
NUMBER IS FOR ME, NOT A PLACEMENT. -
Imagery is wonderful... bronze
♥
whisper
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HM
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Damn... another one of yours I really liked. You have taken us on another magical journey full of images of natures true beauty.
All the best,
~T.S~
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Gold
YAYZ FOR YOU! lol
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HM
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This is a lovely poem. I really enjoyed it. I must leave my comments short due to the volume of entries. Your score: Title: 8 Diction: 9 Syntax 9 Wowness factor: 9 Total: 35. Thank you so much for entering and participating. Shancy.
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There's no place on earth like Scotland, with its Monroes covered in mist and the shimmering lochs and ancient castles... You really brought it to life on the page.
Beautiful imagery and flowing language, an excellent piece of poetry!
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This is so beautiful and wonderous. After reading a batch of dark writes in this contest, reading this helps me relax and cool down. Hmmmm... such gorgeous scenery. I could lay forever in the words of your poem.
Thanks for sharing & entering my contest A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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This took me into the heart of the Scottish high country.. I could smell the fresh earth and see the streams you spoke of. Ohhh I would love to go there and relax my soul... this was such a lovely wistful write.
Thanks you for sharing and entering!
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that was amazing took me on a journey through the places you so well describe for us here in your poem. made me feel so restful hehe. great job! good luck in the contest thanx for entering
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I loved this poem. It was so easy to close my eyes and see everything. It was simply amazing. I thank you for the entry and I wish you the best of luck
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I felt I like I was apart of your words. I love the descriptions you used to puller the reader in your web of words.I could see the wheater as you describe it. A great place to hide away from others. I truly think this is very well wrote and worded. I can see why you won a goal trophy. Very refreshing. Thank you for your entry in my contest.
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excellent
i loved this one, it got to me with the stark images painted across these words...a true masterpiece, thank you for the honor of entering
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