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It's the Kind of Love you're Jealous of.

Vipers bite injecting death
Breathing shallow
No oxygen;weak
Poison circulates
Foam dripping out
Sweat droplets quicken
Temperatures are high
Slowly slithering around your neck
Hissing lightly
Taunting your pain
Fluttering eyelids
Eternally closed
Lights start to flicker
Until shown bright
Cold heart:Cold life
Now all is cold
Sleeping in dirt
With filth like you
Death settles by you
Picture and perfect

Author notes

again wrote at work, hehe

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Never Fall in Love
    February 29, 2008

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    lol, let's pick someone to agree with - I choose Tony.
    Dark and rich in imagery as the words provide one hectic combination of phrases that fit together.

    Never ♥


  • Nakatrea
    February 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a very lovely piece of writing. Well it was very well written and descriptive. I loved it! Thank you for commenting on my poem by the way. I am returning the favor.


  • Repetitious Chaos
    January 25, 2008
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    Vivid imagery, Dear Poet.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    January 13, 2008

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    Love, life, death are all-consuming, when they become enmeshed and entangled in an all consuming love the end is akin to a petit mort, a small death as the French say.The poetess writes picture perfect poetry, the imagery is as gripping as slow strangulation and the grasp-gasp of oxygenation is felt within an existence that mirrors death.


  • Sandygram
    January 13, 2008
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    A wonderful write. Rather dark and filled with pain. A great emotionsal write full of angst and sadness. Great imagery. You create a very heartfelt picture of love gone wrong. Take care, Sandy


  • parachute fog
    January 13, 2008

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    - best poem yet stef, all forments in to one hectic combination of images, ideas, your dialect is better too, it flows better than your previous efforts did, your really developing.


  • camus gold member
    January 13, 2008

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    A painful death, slow and agonizing, is depicted vividly in this poem. The image of the snake which is constant in the poem maintains the sense of pervading evil, an evil that is mounting as the poem unfolds its darkness. A curious aspect is that I get the impression that your tormentor is not only sadistically enjoying your slow demise "taunting your pain" but it seems that you feel so low that you almost welcome your death "Picture and perfect". You appear to be at your best in dark poetry.


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    January 12, 2008

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    Honey, I like this a lot. This is really deep Steph. It is quite dark. I love the imagery that you have portrayed in this too. Wonderful work. You know you have great talent lil sis? Well, you do. Keep writing.

    Love always
    Your Brother
    Wayne
    xx

1 - 12 of 12