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Laughter; The Best Cliche'

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Don't know,
don't care.

What's black
white and read all over?
it certainly ain't
a four leaf clover!

Silly jokes and funny rhymes,
used to pop up all the time,


riddles heard throughout the day
around the office made their way.

Stress now takes precedence;
I wonder where the laughter went...

Four hundred plus, times a day,
children laugh, or so they say.

Diminishing, as we grow old,
to four times a day. (I’m told.)

The world would be a better place,
if everyone had a smiley face.

So the next time you get a chance,
laugh until you pee your pants...








Author notes

Option 6 pre-write
It's a joke in a joke in a joke.....I have this muse, I had to let write this...

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Dancing the Rumba
    May 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm... I don't really know what to say about this one except I liked it a lot... That's wierd, huh? I just liked it... Well, thanks for entering!
    V


  • XxESPNCHICKxX
    February 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering Good luck


  • trista gold member
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You may have penned something lighthearted, but the message within it is valid and even rather...sad? Personally, I love to laugh...and when life becomes so stressful like it recently has, I noticeably miss the laughter. Those are some interesting statistics, and you’ve blended them into the poem very smoothly. Great job, and a very original twist on your theme.

    I’m not a fan of breaking up a sentence and extending it from one stanza or couplet to another... (as in lines 10 - 11) I think a comma after L5, and Line 7, start with a capitol letter. Outside of those couple of minor things, I thought this was well written. The flow was good, the rhymes a bit simple, but as Bear said, it works.

    I love that this can be read quickly and yet gets a point across, giving it a great lasting impression. And we often wonder why we miss those childhood days??? Makes sense to me, now!

    Good luck and best wishes,
    ~J.


  • Arkbear gold member
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nice job!

    I really enjoyed your ability to take us on this journey of diffent paths to get to your Theme ~

     

    I read this sorta quickly....and then the Tone slowed down, and you brought me into a place of *thinking*.....nice job ~

     

    I do, however, think your Flow was tainted a weee bit....not much.....but a weee bit from your simple couplets ~

     

    However....not bad :)

    Rhyming scheme...a tad bit elementary for me....but it works nonetheless ~

     

    I enjoyed your thoughts of humor at the end of your write.....as this shows me you are not going to let old age and the trials of life get to you.....very well done!

     

    Let's see how it scores,

     

    Bear ~

     

    Title   9.6

    Flow   9.25

    Depth   9.75

    Theme   10

    Feelings   9.65

    Grammar   9.5

    Presentation 9.4

    Uncommonness  10

    Sit & Ponder Affect  10

    Ability to follow Rules  10

    Bears Score: 97.15

    Good job!

    :)


    • islekine gold member
      January 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      OH and Bear!

      You weren't calling me OLD were you????? !j

    • islekine gold member
      January 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Bear!

      I've had a couple instances lately that have led me to laugh harder than I have in years...then I heard the statistic about how we just quit laughing as we grow old...
      Anyway....I'll have a more serious note next time...
      or not!
      *PEACE*
      Julie


  • cutiepie gold member
    January 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lol...thank you for reminding me of the power of laughter and yes, often these little gems creep into the limelight Good luck in the contest


    • islekine gold member
      January 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks...

      Laughter is a powerful magic....
      Good luck to you also!
      *PEACE*


  • Floorboards
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, true enough, life's a bit stressful nowadays. Lot of miserable gits going about nowadays, nice if everyone could become a little bit more chipper. Good poem, nice thoughts,
    good luck,
    Floorboards.


    • islekine gold member
      January 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      I am lucky...I live where most people wear smiles...
      *PEACE*


  • LadyDementia gold member
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is fab! I love it, sad that its true, as we grow older we don't laugh as much as we did when we were young....love the advice at the end! Best of luck with it in the contest


    • islekine gold member
      January 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Well, I don't take my own advice...

      So maybe you should take it "with a grain of salt".....

      Thanks for commenting!
      *PEACE*


  • aboomer silver member
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    cute...lol. And true. It does seem like we used to laugh much more - and at stupid things. Nowadays, kids are not laughing at the things they should be. I liked the old days better!
    Best wishes in the contest.

    • islekine gold member
      January 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      I heard the statistics about laughter

      as we grow older...I got to thinking about it...then on the radio the other night, there was a blooper...and I was in bed....I got to laughing so hard I had to get up so as not to wake my husband....It felt sooooo good to laugh that hard! Anyway...thanks..

1 - 14 of 14