A whirlpool of blue,
whispers of green
your eyes are a mirror
a torched soul I see.
Fear and hate,
rejection or loss,
something is nailing
Your hopes on a cross.
Now look into my eyes
see your reflection through me
there's a world of love you have to see.
A body is feeble grows old and dies.
Hopes and dreams escape and fly.
Legacies and memories purposely made,
awe is as simple as a water cascade.
Don't live your life in quiet depression.
Reveal your darkest consuming obsession
An Army of Angels will walk at your side
hold their hands,
No rules apply.
Do not lock us out
rather let us in
and together
we'll find your beauty within.
A contest entry
- ~*~Support to help people fight Ana and Mia~*~ by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
300 points, ended January 22, 2008, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Share your poems with me by trekkergirl.
550 points, ended November 6, 2008, 174 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GOT GOLD? Calling all single silvers..... by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended November 13, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Nicely penned. Enjoyed the read. Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you share your work here. Good luck!
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This is a very sweet poem. I must tell you that I really do like it. It flows wonderfully and has a lot to say and the rhyming does not appear forced at all. And the background means mystery to me. Thanks for sharing this poem with us and thanks for entering it in my contest.
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Congrats on the silver!
Well deserved. An excellent poem. -
Interesting title, check your hopes, not you're. Capital on Legacies, not on awe. The teacher in me always wanting to correct. LOL Hope you don't mind. Keep writing. Some good suggestions in these lines.
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Thnks for the suggestions. corrections made.
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Wow Great work editing this one. Send the link to creations. IT looks really good Redwing Spirit
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Thank you this look's great, happy you made the changes I would be happy to add this too the book once we have them ready I will let you know thank you.
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thank you. it ould be an honour.
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please take another look.
i have changed a word or two.
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This poem has great concept but I have to agree with the guy / girl below me. With a little work this could be great. Lets see what the group leader says . Good Luck.
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please review
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Diverse
If I was a reader who is not really involved w/ poetry, I would give this poem a poor rating. However, I see this poem as somewhat encouraging and receptive. I don't believe it flows as well as it could have though. Lack of flow can kill a reader's interest, but not always. You don't have to stray from the inspiration that led you to write, but you should put a little more time into making the poem flow as you make your point. This one could have used a little more rhyme in it.
I look forward to reading more of your work. You are a good writer, but with time you will get even better!
See my poetry as well and give feedback. bd77bd7 -
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thnks for your comment please take another look and let me know
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this is such an amazing and powerful write and really caught my attention with the amount of care and loe within this. thankyou for the entry and best of luck
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Thnx
Thanks for your coment, though i have no first hand experience with this subject directly, i could onl imagine the pain and suffering. i beieve love can help any situation to some degree.
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