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Nocturnes: Peripheral Vision

 

 

Precise portions split

like peas, a quiet thumb splays the spine,

where small hands make origami doves

then crumples them into the rough.


 

Envy green - the eye seeks the rounded pods

of ventricles and bundles of pure electric sighs.

Pulsate across the wired body 

soundless

heartless

breath- less is the musing too,

the point of pupil reaction inhales

a peripheral vision of beauty and pain.

 

Love, the madness that captures

the swallow; and the magpie sits on the fence

insane in black and white.

 

 



 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • LadyLavender gold member
    November 20
    Edit | Reply
    brilliant


  • CaliOkie silver member
    October 11
    Edit | Reply
    Well deserved bronze. This one does indeed chill.

    Garrison

  • Rowan gold member
    October 11
    Edit | Reply
    I missed this one the first time around... how???
    Wow, so glad someone featured it.

  • writeonhorses
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    each time I re-read this poem, I liked it more and more because I could get more and more out of it. imagery is genius, for some reason this line stuck with me:

    Pulsate across the wired body

    and of course the ending and ideas behind the words, are a constant issue for humanity in general. Relevant and beautifu... I love this write!!


  • just mercedes gold member
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    I like the black and white vision here, the reminder that love and pain are sides of the same coin, and it's always a toss-up and spin.

    A note on syntax in the first stanza - small hands make, then crumple, not crumples.


  • yellowsub
    October 10

    Edit | Reply
    where small hands make origami doves
    then crumples them into the rough.

    of ventricles and bundles of pure electric sighs.

    a peripheral vision of beauty and pain.

    Or maybe I should just quote the whole poem....? Geeez what a write you have here! It is amazing, remarkable, beautiful, thought provoking, wonderful, inspiring, original. Dare I say genius?

    Wow. I love it.
    Thank you for this write!
    -Tatian


  • Naridill gold member
    January 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First off - what a standard to set the contest with. This was absolutely beautiful, from madness came the beauty that is love. The love and phrasing of such tamed emotions but wild spirit. Loved this.

    Thanks for entering,

  • Suzanne Dia
    January 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply


    Who's the magpie? I'm curious, really.

    Like this though. Love IS madness, always, but tends to be worth it even when it smarts.



  • grm
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    if one is mad to start with, does love then bring sanity? or a lifetime sentence to the rubber room...lol.

    i like how this meanders from the internal to the external and even further out.

    had to wonder what the magpie 'sitting on the fence' actually represented...
    indecision? or am i just reading too deep?
    lol

    good un Gilly


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    interesting images this one, the madness.. we allow, against that lovely insane black and white..

    between me and thee, I'll take the insane over madness any day..

  • fanniesson
    January 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    a great read here


  • IronIcecream
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    and for the non disturbed
    monochromatic eye
    we have a blind tone variation
    of sitting-on-a-fence type
    pie

    spicy sauce or flying saucer(y)?


  • Yvette Champ gold member
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very deep, but well worth diving into, good usage of alliteration and the black and white presentation compounds those things that are black and white yet have shades of grey.Love is a kind of madness,yet we ache for it's potion to be presented so that we may imbibe of it for that heady intoxication do we not? Bravo.


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "love, the madness"... both the swallow and the magpie... sometimes the swallow swallows the madness and other times vice versa while the magpie watches...

    But then, if love isn't madness, it isn't love....according to some Spanish proverb!! This is great poetry, Gilly...the eye always remembers the beauty and the pain, the beauty of pain and the pain of beauty remembered and still present.

    Loved this one, girl..stunning poetry.



    ~ Nicolette

    • NurseChilly gold member
      January 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      exactly.... you can't have one without the other, I'm sure of this...

      painful is the eye that spears the fragile wing...
      thank you my dear friend, for you lovely lovely lovely words on my plume



      Gilly.x


  • Gwenevere
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very good.I am not really a free verse fan but I loved the imagery in this write.It also intepretes the prompt very well.Well done and good luck to you in the contest, Ros


    • NurseChilly gold member
      January 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for dropping by and commenting too.. appreciate your kind comment



      G.x

1 - 18 of 18