Sleeping child-
turn your head and sigh
as you wake to kiss, my
shoulder.
I reach behind
and stroke your hair
your tender kiss
sparks a flame, in my mind.
It leads me back
to a Townfoot flat
number 89, still stands open.
Hand carved stools
(that) wallpaper hung
to connect huge flowers,
and pictures.
Of a nearby bridge
summer sun on a pool
pale reflections in gold,
sit gentle.
Childrens books
the strange scent of Brut
on an eiderdown, live longest.
As moonlight seeps
through our new double-glaze
I tighten my eyes,
and reach for you again.
Author notes
option 5. I read the rules. LETTERS FROM THE HEART. POW! I had a very profound experience the other night after sneaking into my daughters bed in the middle of the night, (due to my wife doing her tiresome starfish impression). Made me feel like a kid again and also, (strangely) yearn for a day when we never had 2 pennies to rub together.
For, Leah. x
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW by Arkbear.
750 points, ended January 17, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Writers & Poets Alike....! by B Chandler.
1050 points, ended January 29, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - . by Aurora Ceres.
575 points, ended January 18, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Love Writes Here! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended March 8, 2008, 306 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Confliction by BlankSillhouette.
600 points, ended March 5, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by fairytalelovestory.
625 points, ended April 11, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel again by lilblueeyesmine1978.
300 points, ended March 23, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Close Encounters Of The Tender Kind. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended April 17, 2008, 15 entries
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20000 points, ended June 2, 2008, 946 entries
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500 points, ended July 30, 2008, 132 entries
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450 points, ended August 5, 2008, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best AP Poet Contest by davidbetzer.
1500 points, ended August 2, 2008, 33 entries
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600 points, ended August 30, 2008, 34 entries
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450 points, ended October 3, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shine a light in the Darkness by Rhythm Child.
550 points, ended November 18, 2008, 25 entries
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900 points, ended November 24, 2008, 51 entries
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600 points, ended December 12, 2008, 21 entries
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550 points, ended January 9, 13 entries
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400 points, ended March 5, 115 entries
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1750 points, ended February 17, 111 entries
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730 points, ended March 22, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspirational Words/Phrases/Prose/Poetry by Emmyb.
700 points, ended May 13, 45 entries
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700 points, ended July 20, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 76 of 76
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This is absolutely beautiful. I love how you went from present to past, your imagery is fantastic. The ending was perfect, and happened to be my favorite part. Thank you so much for entering.
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Simply gorgeous
The way you go from the present to the past is masterfully done. It is the attention to the fine details through your senses that makes this write so special and endearing. Adorable, sensitive and reflective write...alby
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fantastically heart felt. what an entry! oh i will have to ponder over this for a while. congrats on such a great write. thanks for entering. emmyb
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This poem put vivid pictures in my mind. I liked how it flashed back, everything was very descrptive.
A great read. -
90%
The first two stanzas didn't do much for me, I'll admit; they seemed too repeated and like a filler to lead up to the rest of the poem. But I love the story you've woven and the experience behind it. And your wording is gorgeous.
"As moonlight seeps-
through our new double - glaze,
I tighten my eyes-
and reach for you again." <--that was magnificent.
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Reading poems written for children always makes me smile and this once didnt fail me. I know how personal all the references you made in your poem are. This truly was a joy to read. Thanks for sharing this, and I send all my blessing to your little girl.
Love and light,
Lencio
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aw..very sweet..good write..good luck in the contest
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great poem
Thankyou so much for entering
i do not beleive in luck but i beleive in talent and it is a quality that all can have and what will win this contest
message me for anything
Billy (Rhythm Child) -
Awww what a sweet poem so full of beautiful imagery. Best of luck to you poet in life and in this contest......
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brilliant discriptives. The wallpaper, etc. The smell of Brut speaks so well of poverty. That was a nice touch. Thank you for the entry. When my husband and I first married he was in the air force and we lived near the base. We could go to the base theatre, see a newly released movie and get a hamburger with fries and a drink all for $.50 (fifty cents) good times, those.
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wow this is very deep, im alittle confused as to if this poem is about children love, or romance love but alas i do like it, its very innocent, and gentle, best of luck in the contest, keep penning, love kitty
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, good luck, Josie
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thanks for the entry.
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I really liked this very much. I love the reference to the stool and wallpaper. These references tend to make the write come to life in the mind's eye.
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Scent of Brut
I think a gold winning revision is needed. Here is my suggestion:
Childrens
Childrens books-
Childrens books the
Childrens books the strange
Childrens books the strange scent
Childrens books the strange scent of
Childrens books the strange scent of Brut -
That is one beautiful experience you have penned here. I love it very much so. The description here is stunning.
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i liked this it was very sweet good luck.
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Thank you for posting this wonderful piece in my contest. I really enjoyed reading it, the imagery was great.
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thanks for entering this in the contest! It was a beautiful write, and it really made me feel. Thanks for the poem, and you are an amazingly talented artist. Best of luck in the contest!
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Excellent--Well written & Versed--Best of luck in the contest!!
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This is very sweet indeed. I don't know if you refer to a literal sleeping child or merely as a metaphor, but I love the part where the memories are relapsed. I remember the old days when I was at my old home and all the smells and all the pictures on the walls. It's a comfort, mostly.
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This poem carries a lot of sensuality and tenderness to the eyes of the reader. Good imagery again and actually, quite thought-provoking as well
I couldn't help myself but laughing when I read your wife's habit - her starfish impression
I tried to visualise different kind of things with that
Thank you for another entry!
Leander -
beauutiful write
a great piece
thanks for entering -
I really like this piece... I think that you did a great job on this piece it has really good imagery and I thank you for your entry and good luck in my contest.
~Maria -
Great Write! Thanks for entering and good luck!
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Very loving, Dear Poet.
Here's to good nights and better days!
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I don't know what to say.
This poem is unique in itself.
Nicely penned!
Thanks for entering your write at A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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Absolutely brilliant! You KNOW I love this! It is trademark Floorboards!!! Excellent storytelling that takes hold of me and brings me along the journey. Well done my friend.
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Priceless
This is what I am referring to, along with many others that I have perused among your poetry dear friend. Your gift & talent speak for children in so many ways. Each time I land upon your pages, it's always a unique experience. You bring so many facets to life. You play with many themes to bring the reader to what needs to be shown, through your eyes or theirs, and look at every angle differently. Each one of us has a gift, all different & unique
You are a blessing that I have come to be very Thankful for on this site
Many Blessings dear friend~
Much love always to you & yours
~Joy
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wow this one is touching. the form is very interesting too, im not sure what you did - but this one had a very nice feel about it... I love your imagery... your descriptions... Very beautiful moments you have caught in words here...
I like it
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I like your use of the -
it makes me catch my breath in all of the right places.
Unfortunatly, I'm too young to have a clue what eiderdown is, or Brut, but the rest of the imagery is beautiful.
I guess I'm still young enough to not have two pennies to rub together- but it took you saying so to make me realize how lucky I am
Thank -
Very well thought out, i like it
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Sorry - my fault, I just edited to ensure only new pieces. Please do submit something new if you can - thanks x
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Like the subtleness to this write, seemeed to be brimming with lovely thoughts lol Overall a well written free verse poem.Thanks for entering and best of luck
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Such tenderness and heartfelt moments here, Brosef....excellent feelings and emotions spilled through...felt like I was skipping down memory lane with you...Kids are so precious..... Well done
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Thanks for entering!!!!
I thought this was very sweet. Great job and Good luck in the contest ^_^ @>}- -
i really like this one. it brought a lot of feelings to me. seriously. i was like, 'wow, this is sooo good!'
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Children are such a blessing and we don't have the time today to appreciate all that innocence that they have. We all need to read this poem and feel a little guilty for not taking the time to kiss them as they wake up.
Loved this poem and this is how I will wake my daughter from now on each morning.
Thank you!
Becks
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interesting!
so simple, yet with so many twists and turns (of your memory) I couldn't guess the beautiful intent until the very end
bittersweet yearning for the past, filled with wonder of now...never mind the future!?! our children are amazing, and quite terrifying, even when asleep!
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I'm sorry, but this poem will be removed from the contest. The only rule states that each entry must be fifteen lines or less, and this is over that. Thank you for entering though. Storm
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that's a bit of a silly rule, considering...
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Yeah, you're right.
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I'm always right---I'm a mummy!
(ahem) or as they say on the street...mutha!
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It could be interesting to see which title in the contest you've based this on. It's sweetly expressive and I enjoyed reading. Thank you for your entry.
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Aww, how so lovely this is. Beautifuly written, and thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
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Somehow I missed commenting on this - apologies on that.
This was very touching. One I think any parent can relate to. There's just something about holding your child that does bring back those early memories and yearn for the simple times again, the simple joys in life.
(not only wives do that 'starfish impression'...lol...love that phrase!).
best wishes.
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Awesome imagery, the words read aloud so well
Many congrat's on your gold it is very deserving
Cindy
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Congrats on the gold trophy, while this wasn't my personal favorite style of poetry, I have to say I did enjoy this very much.
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lol i love your authors comment as much as the poem... your wife doing the starfish impression. a brilliant poem and congrats on the gold but that comment really got me... i hope my husbands not still doin that in jail... or if he tis its with his arse to the wall lol.
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
WOW
thats grate i loved it
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Fab write my friend, congrats on the gold too! Gosh i remember eiderdowns! We were the last to have them on our street! Hey ho, but they sure were happy days. Hope the bairns doing great too! Janice xx
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Sweet, first of all congrats on the gold!
I hesitated clicking this to be honest, because I'd have died if I had to comment on a love poem - but the title is so provoking ...
I agree with trista when she said there is amazement in you being able to strike so many emotions..
I was going to leave something more constructive but I have to dash - great work!
Never ♥
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The first time I read this I was struck by how many of my senses you were able to engage ~ sight, smell, touch ~ not to mention the emotional response this evokes. I find your author note and wishing for “poorer” days not strange at all, for somehow things (to me) are simpler and small blessings easier to appreciate.
The only, only thing I wasn’t crazy about were maybe a couple of the line breaks and all the dashes. They were slightly distracting to me, and I think commas would have been just as good in many places. But that’s more of a personal preference, and won’t affect your score.
This is incredibly touching and poignant, a theme that I’m sure has been done, but you’ve truly made it your own here. I think my score will speak the rest.
Good luck and best wishes,
~J.
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Wow ~
I don't think it strange at all to yearn for the day when we were humble and meek ~
I think the gift of a child can do this to us ~
I want to thank you for bringing this to the POW contest, and for sharing such a precious moment in time with your child ~
....and yes...our partners can do that starfishy thingy soooo well, can't they :)
A wonderful write with such sentiments of memory and Imagery brought out for us to engage into ~
I think this is another first for you, as I just told another Poet....this is your best yet.....and I truly believe you have out-done yourself this time my Friend ~
I'll never forget the time I first read your work, and I knew right then, you were/are going to be a Great writer!
Peace to you and the best to your talent and entry,
Bear ~
Title 9.6
Flow 9.75
Depth 9.95
Theme 10
Feelings 10
Grammar 10
Presentation 9.9
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 10
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 99.2
Congrats!
:)
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nice one mr f.
i know what u talkin' 'bout. me auntie used to get me that brut aftershave every birthday when i was a teenager. i sort of coming of age thing i suppose. splash it on all over! and we did.
carefee days indeed (and crap aftershave, lol)
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beautiful
and mine is growing so fast...i hope to never lose these days....beautiful read...thank you -
Oh, absolutely moving... and the use of several senses was quite extraordinary. I can feel with you, smell with you... everything. Great to be back on AP. Missed you especially. Lovely write.
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I find this poem to be very deep.
Your writing is just so inspirational to me. The words you use and the way you use them is indescribable. I hope you win a contest that fits with this poem.
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I can identify with this piece so well ... isn't it strange how kids can do that to us? You capture these thoughts and emotions beautifully in this piece, it was a real joy to read. And looking at your author notes, again, now we're okay for dosh and stuff, I too, often hanker after the "good ol' days" ... the humility of it all, the joy when we saved up enough for a special day out, etc. Ah, yes ....
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genuine
Very soft and air like. I enjoyed the flow it was like a breeze, not too much, not to little.
In your authors notes: I feel like monetary things are not so important. It is family and unconditional walls that are most important to me. My family isn't as close anyways, but I try and keep a connection as much as possible. My little brother is in the Navy, and I noticed holidays haven't been the same since he left for Virginia.
Keep up the great writes,
Melanie -
This is not strange at all. It's beautiful and sweet. It has a gentile feel to it that softens the thought of getting older. At the same time it's a reminder to treasure those tender moments because our children will grow far faster than we'd like.
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SWEET
Sweet indeed it is! The joy of chilhood experienced in company with the innocence of a child. I reminds me of a great poem of a great poet -
WHY SO SWEET
When I give colourful toys
In your lovely hands
Then I understand
Why in the morning
Colours play on clouds
Waters sparkle with colour
And the flower petals are tinged.
When I sing and you dance
Then I realize in my heart
Why there is so much music
In tree leaves and woods
And why water murmurs.
When I give you some cream
On your greedy palms
And you roam about in the room
Smearing it on your face
Then I understand
Why river waters are sweet
Why sweetness is in the fruits.
When I kiss you to make you smile
Then I understand
Why the sky is so pleased
To shower light on my face
Why winds pour so much honey.
-----------------------
Transcreation of the poem Keno madhur from the collection Shishu by Rabindranath Tagore.
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the ending is compleate class i love the whole poem verry well writing alex and the flow is nice good free vevsre with spot-on line brakes and real heart-felt read good stuff ( :
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forgot to give you the applause lol
sorry
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that's a really sweet
I reach behind
and stroke your hair
your tender kiss
sparks a flame- in my mind
i think that's such a poignant verse, wow
keep up the good work -
This is a simple reflection of a time forgotten, and it's beautiful. I wish you had made more reference to who the sleeping child was, and your relationship to him/her... although I understand maybe the anonimity is important to the poem being all about the memory, rather than the present, that being said I love how you snap back to reality with the last two lines...
nice writing
James
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I understand that feeling. When we were newly married we had few material things, little $ and yet we were happy. We went to movies for fifty cents (on base) had really good burgers ... it was great and life seemed so simple.
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Hello my dear friend. I know exactly what you mean. I wander back to those carefree childhood days many times and wonder what the heck happened to this crazy world we have now. I long for a more caring time where we all helped each other. Poor but happy!!! Yes our kids and my grandkids make us drift back in time and long for our yesterdays.
Excellent write. You take care. Many blessings for you and your lovely family.
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Beautifully written - its amazing that in the quiet moments our kids have the ability to waken memories we thought had gone - I frequently find myself doing the same thing, maybe I need to start writing some of this stuff down - well done this was really touching.
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I like it, it had a unique sence of imigery to it
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Wow
Honestly, I'm stumped at what to say! Alone the images are well produced--vivid images that shows off the 'story-like' actions yet holds onto the hint of reality too. Keep penning
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wow wow wow
This poem was amazing. I am so amazed by the beauty and the imagery in this piece. Just wow. This is just exceptionally rare.
So brilliant!
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WOW
I sigh............ A stroll down memory lane alongside you my friend. Truly a wonderful poem with a peaceful stroll down nostalgic lane. Well done my friend. Good luck in the contest. Brilliantly crafted.
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I love this....
I felt and smelled your poem..
Best wishes in the contest!
Write on!
*PEACE*
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I agree and you have put it so wonderfully. Very best of luck in the contest
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How very true, children can do both!...Good luck in the contest
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