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Mussle shell walls.

  I watched them chase the butterflies

and scream in summers delight,

 spades and buckets in their hands

they were taller than the mites. 

*

Some blew on the dandelion clock

to declare the time of day,

and in the field beyond the beach

a tractor gathered hay.

Down the steps of hand carved stones

came a gentle wave from the sea,

the children went to greet it

stumbling to their knees.

Sandcastles built with mussel-shell walls

topped off with a seagulls feather,

the beach a mass of dug out holes

in search of buried treasure.

They ran up and down on the sand dunes

and chased the receding tide,

ah! But in my mind it all ebbs back

           There forever to reside.              

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • A lovely poem of childhood memories. Your rhyme is good and rhythm has a good flow. You have a couple of places where you have a plural which would be better if singular, but overall an enjoyable read.
    The idea of this series of contests is to help improve rhyming poets and their poetry and this is our aim. Should you need any help, please ask.


  • a dozenglassroses
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    Sandcastles built with mussel-shell walls

    topped off with a seagulls feather,

    I liked these lines a lot

  • Animarising
    February 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good. Bravo. The images are very real, and clear.

    Shouldn't the title read 'mussel' though??

    . Rewarded 4


  • LadyAmalthea
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is very fun, and I like the beachy freedom feel of it. I'm not a big rhyme fan...but the poem itself was pleasing.

    xo

  • aloveoncelost
    February 18
    Edit | Reply

    wow amazing

    it's a very good write i love it!! keep on writing

  • Zyskandar A Jaimot
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    this was a VERY GOOD WRITE with good imagery/action favorite image is:"Some blew on the dandelion clock

    to declare the time of day," thanks for sharing regards zaj

    . Rewarded 4


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply

    that was refreshing to enjoy!

    What a precious imagery that was to enjoy!
    I love that title...you did this poem so very well.
    Smart and cleverly written to be enjoyed, oh that
    sounds so good...the feel of summer sand between our
    toes! too long a winter for me...thankyou for a wonderful mini-vacation to the beach!
    ears2hearyou
    Kathleen/Seattle.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely!

    This poem reminds me of a somewhat similar carefree time in my own childhood in Michigan. ah... THAT was the life!! I love your very brilliant use of "real" vocabulary (vs. metaphor) in defining these precious moments in time. You've done a wonderful job of showing us the reality of all that is fresh, joyful, good, and simply innocent in life. Best of luck in this contest!!! Peace and love, Cyn

    . Rewarded 8


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    Cute take on the picture prompt. These memories of our childhood are so precious and it's nice to remember them now and again. Easy to read and understand the sentiments expressed in this poem.

  • Pure Thought silver member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply
    What a magnificent reminicence of youth at the beach. Nothing more joyful than this. Thank you for sharing.


  • FransB silver member
    January 12

    Edit | Reply

    What

    a lovely poem. The rhyme was unforced and led me back to childhood days! This is a poem to consider adding to the collage that has to tenderly been set for stage. Frans


  • markgrif gold member
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Its beautiful

  • markgrif gold member
    January 11
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting format
    Best of luck
1 - 13 of 13