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A monsoon of lies.

Yesterday 

I was showered

in sunshine's warmth,

love poured on my wilting

heart and made it grow.

I blossomed into a

sweet scented bouquet.

 

 

 

Today

the rain came

and I drowned chasing

raindrop ripples in

muddy   puddles.

You japped me with

the filth that came

through a monsoon

of lies.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Blooming Poet
    March 16, 2008
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    love it. the monsoon of lies, is a brillant, but sad way of stating it. May I ask what japped means, sounds like poked, but I have neverr heard of it? care to explain.


  • Blooming Poet
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    love it. the monsoon of lies, is a brillant, but sad way of stating it. May I ask what japped means, sounds like poked, but I have neverr heard of it? care to explain.


  • Everwind Rising
    January 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very stark contrast between the first and second stanzas. Nicely done although I'm not sure what "japped" means.


  • Alive Again
    January 16, 2008

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    OMG

    This poem is really good that is amazing and true for everyone at one point you should write a sequel. I feel that you understand emotions really well thank you for you awesome poetry.


  • Axel Gold
    January 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was just lovely. beautiful imagery, very well written with effective line breaks.

    "I drowned chasing
    raindrop ripples in
    muddy puddles" I loved those lines.

    two things to consider: (minor grammatical errors)
    "sunshines" = "sunshine's"
    "Japped" = "japed" ?

    fantastic job

    Axel Gold


  • grannyeri gold member
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful metaphors used in these lines. So easy to read and understand - vivid visuals left to our senses. What a difference a day makes, or a shower, for that matter.


  • I am a Mindfreak
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this poem. The beginning just showed how one feels the second they fall in love and they feel like nothing will go wrong in the relationship. I liked the difference in the end of how what one thing that used to feel great could change just like day. Great write.


  • Elenaliz
    January 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is weird, today i was thinking about how my husband has the all thepower to make me feel so good and so bad.i love the line...
    I drowned chasing
    raindrop ripples in
    muddy puddles
    beautiful poem.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    January 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Yesterday and Today

    such a difference a lie makes.

    Another one well written.


  • FransB gold member
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    What a

    heartflet poem. The first stanza sets the pace, and then in the second reality strikes to to core. I simply hate it when people do this to others. Go well, and best of luck in the contest. Frans

1 - 10 of 10